will we talk? {sam fender}

12

sam

after i started an argument for no reason at all i told lacy to go to bed in my bed, i'd sleep on the sofa.

i can't believe i fucking did that.

my anger just overtakes sometimes and it's like word vomit spilling out of my mouth. her career is none of my business.

i guess i just care about her, but it's stupid really. i want this girl to be my best friend after knowing her for three weeks.

she is the type of person anyone can get on with though, i would trust her with so much shit and i know she wouldn't bat an eyelid over it.

she's a good person. a great person.

i think that's why i've been trying to get her to move up here to shields, i'm scared that once this song is over we aren't going to be friends anymore.

but for the first time in a while i've felt like i can open up to someone, and they actually want to listen.

don't get me wrong dean is my best mate and will forever be there for me but his advice just doesn't hit the same anymore. we're both sick and tired of each other after too many years of friendship.

i couldn't sleep, mainly because the sofa is so fucking uncomfortable and stinks of vodka and cigarettes but also because i knew lacy is in my bed right now possibly hurt about what i said

it keeps coming into my brain that i need to check on her, to make sure she isn't crying herself to sleep right now but that would be an invasion of her privacy.

i need to do something to take my mind off how i treated her. she deserved so much better than that.

especially as she was opening up about money. that's not easy. i know that first hand.

when it hits 10am and dean finally wakes up i come to the conclusion she is either ignoring me and escaping through my bedroom window right now or she has cried herself to death.

"do you know if lacy is up?" i yawn as dean walks through sipping on a coffee.

"uhh she went to the toilet like an hour ago but that's all i've heard of her. it is only 10 she's probably still asleep"

"we got into an argument last night. well actually i started an argument...over nothing" i tell him.

"really sam? the poor lass has been friends with you for three weeks? you know if you need to get some anger out just shout at me for not cleaning the kitchen or something because you know i don't give a shit when your angry with me" dean says

"it wasn't like that. she's with syco music, that's her record label and she told me she hasn't got any money from selfish yet which clearly isn't right. but i don't know i should have helped her instead of getting angry with her" i explain.

"your a cunt sometimes" dean laughs, a floor board creaks above us, my bedroom, oh thank god she's alive.

"i'm going to make her some breakfast" i announce walking into the kitchen.

"hmm i don't think that's a good idea mate" dean laughs following me into the kitchen, i scan our cupboards looking for something.

"sam you really can't cook, like you'll give the poor lass food poisoning" dean laughs.

"i need to make it up to her, i'm shit scared that once this song is over she's going to not want to be friends. which i think everyone wants to be friends with her" i open up to him.

he huffs "you can't force her to be friends with you"

"i know that! but i just thought it looked like she doesn't have many friends and i want to make her happy. i just feel protective over her"

lacy

"i just feel protective over her" i hear sams voice say from the kitchen, i'm not mad at him after last night.

i'm not going to lie i did cry when i got into bed and dean did come and check on me but he said he wouldn't tell sam about how i'm feeling.

he then called his friend a toe sucking cunt. nice one dean.

i walk through the living room and into the kitchen disturbing the boys from their deep conversation.

"lac" sam sighs "i was going to make you breakfast, you should have stayed in bed"

i give him a genuine smile "that's ok sam"

"yeah i wouldn't either lacy, he'll give you salmonella" dean laughs hitting his friend on the arm making me laugh.

"fine i'll just order us greggs or something"

by the time we are all enjoying our greggs breakfast me and sam are fine, nothing is awkward.

"what time are we in the studio?" dean asks munching on a chicken bake.

"one" sam replies, the simpsons is playing on the TV often getting laughs from us.

"so when am i going to meet these girls you keep going on about" i ask dean and sam.

"we could always go low lights after the studio and you can meet them there" dean suggests pulling out his phone probably to message his girlfriend.

"oh god as long as you don't fill me up with alcohol again" i laugh.

"no one force fed you it lass" sam laughs, i kick him gently making him laugh.

"i'm not going to the low lights in this though" i smile looking at the clothes i'm wearing, bless sam for giving me some clothes to wear but they weren't exactly something i want to wear out.

"i guess we'll go shopping then" sam laughs.

"yes! i can't wait to drag you round primark!"