will we talk? {sam fender}

39

lacy

it's 7:30 on sams birthday and me and dean are decorating all downstairs. i'm hoping sam didn't feel me slip out of bed this morning.

if i'm honest things went completely back to normal after our argument, which i was not expecting.

he hasn't stopped apologising since and showed how sorry he was in bed...a few times.

"he is going to love it" dean smiles tying a balloon and looking all around us, in all fairness it does look pretty decent.

"your a good friend" i smile back at dean trying to hang a banner on the window but it keeps falling down.

"oh i know"

"what's happening?" sams voice suddenly says from the stairs. mine and deans expression widens as we slam the door before he can see anything

"sam! go back to bed!" dean groans letting a balloon go causing it to make a noise and fly all around the room.

"what are you doing in there" sam says as he tries to open the door but me and dean are leaning against it

"shagging" dean snorts, sam suddenly gets more aggressive with trying to get into the living room.

"very funny" i roll my eyes at dean "lover go back to the bed! i promise we are not shagging"

"well i'd bloody well hope so! god imagine your best friend and girlfriend" sam tuts as his voice gets quieter showing he is going back upstairs.

"thank fuck for that" i breath out relieved, going back to the banner i was trying to hang up.

"lacy can i ask you something?" dean asks me making me spin on the spot at his seriousness "about sam"

"um yeah?"

"i was just wondering if he has ever talked to you about his-" he hesitates for a moment "his mental health"

i don't expect the question meaning i have to take a moment to think about it, of course sam told me all about his mental health on the walk back from the pub after he punched harry. but it's not my thing to share with dean.

"he's talked to me about it but i don't want to...you know betray him by telling people, it's not my thing to share" i smartly say.

"oh" dean says

"dean you know i trust you and your sams best friend it's just" i hesitate myself now "i think if i trusted someone with something as deep as my mental health i would be pretty pissed off if they told the people in my life"

"i understand lacy you don't have to explain yourself, it's just before you came i was really worried for sam. he never left the house, he stopped caring about himself and even stopped caring about his music and i just wanted to know how you done it. how did you get him out of that hole?" he asks me

my heart hurts at the thought of sam like that.

"i didn't know he was struggling until he opened up to me the night he punched harry, i had no idea i had helped him. dean don't think it's your fault he felt that way"

"i know i just feel like i could have helped him, and it keeps me up at night imagining what would have happened if you never came" dean says clearly upset.

i had abandoned everything i was doing now, to know sams best friend thinks about that. to know sams mental health was suffering that much.

our silence is disturbed by sam whining down the stairs "can i come in now"

"ugh fine! you didn't let us finish though" dean groans opening the living room door, sams face lights up when he sees the confetti, balloons, banners and presents everywhere.

it makes me happy to see him happy, but no matter what, mine and dean's conversation a second ago won't leave my brain.

i have a feeling it's going to stick around for a while.

————

"you okay?" sam hums into my hair before placing a kiss there. we are sat in the low lights at 8'o clock, sam said there was no other place he would want to spend his birthday. strange boy

"yeah i'm okay. now are you okay? have you had a good birthday?" i ask him with a smile, i'm in fact not okay. deans words are haunting me.

i can't imagine what would have happened if you never came

"oh i've had the best birthday ever! so far...we've still got lots left of the night lac. and i think i know exactly how we could finish off my birthday just to make it even better" he smirks

"hm well your going to have to wait for that now lover" i smirk back, he groans and puts his hand on my thigh.

"it'll be so worth the wait"

"we could always go to the toilets" i smile into his ear before kissing it, his heard perks up and looks at me.

"are you suggesting dirty pub toilet sex?"

"oh i am"

he bites his lip and kisses my lips deeply before giving me a wink as he walks off to the toilets, i wait a few seconds before going too myself.

"aye lacy are yer going to the toilet? wait for me" ruby smiles getting up, oh for fuck sake.

"no" i shake my head with a smile confusing the people around me

"ohhh, yeah ruby you might want to hold on unless you want to hear sam and lacy shagging" sophie laughs at me making me go bright red.

"don't know what your on about" i laugh scratching my head and walking off to the toilets where sam is waiting for me.

"took you long enough"

"ruby wanted to come" i laugh at him as he guides me into a cubicle with him, i've never had toilet sex, this is going to be fun.

"threesome?" sam asks looking scared at the idea

"no you weirdo she just needed a piss and wanted to come to the toilet with me"