will we talk? {sam fender}

93

february 15

"so today we are joined with the incredible lacy hope everybody!" graham norton introduces me on his show

the on set audience all clap and cheer for me as i wave from the sofa, millie bobby brown and noel gallagher next to me.

"how are you today lacy?" graham asks me

media training always comes in handy for these types of interviews. i guess that's one thing i can thank simon cowell for.

"i'm really good, thank you for asking" i smile

"so lacy, last month your second studio album 'no tears left to cry' came out" the audience all cheer on cue "now tell us what was it like with the production of this album?"

i let out a breath as i prepare for my answer "well it definitely took a while" i smile "i started writing at the start of 2020 and the album didn't come out until the start of 2021 so it took a year for it all to be finished. however, i wasn't actually writing just for the purpose of the album as writing is just a hobby so i was able to pull out some old songs from before even the first album was out. that meant i didn't have to spontaneously write fifteen songs at once"

"wow so it sounds like a lot of hard work" graham smiles

"yes many all nighters for this album" i laugh

"so what would you say were your main inspirations throughout this all?" he asks me, i've already written out an answer in my head for this question as it's one i know i'm going to be asked a lot

"well, there are many songs on the album about my boyfriend" the crowd all cheer "songs about our ups and downs but don't worry the breakup songs were written back in 2019" i laugh

"there are also a couple songs about my mum, she passed away late 2019 which meant by the time the idea of a second album was finalised i had a lot to write about consisting of her"

"there is also a few songs about absolute nonsense" i laugh "love me harder was actually written while i was drunk with the weeknd, we actually had no intention of doing a collab we just both happened to be at the same place at the same time"

graham nods along with it all "so one of your biggest songs on the album is 'dangerous woman' would you be able to talk us through that?"

i let out a giggle "well it's about exactly what you would expect it to be about..." i smirk "dad if your watching cover your ears...it's about sex" i laugh

"and holiday?"

"god graham your really trying to embarrass me here" i laugh "yes also about sex"

graham laughs taking a sip of his water "and on the other side of the spectrum what is i miss you, i'm sorry about?"

"well i wrote i miss you, i'm sorry yearsssss ago, about an ex boyfriend who was sort of a manipulator...not many people know but it was an abusive relationship but i was young and didn't understand that. so when we broke up the first emotion i felt was grief for the relationship, so i wrote the song in late 2018 before selfish was even out" i tell everyone "obviously now 3 years later i am very aware of what truly happened in that relationship and how i was manipulated but i thought it was important to have on the album"

"so why release it now?"

"i was going through all of my notes on my
phone when i found it, i edited a few things and i was at my boyfriends house when i first played it, he came home while i was singing it on his guitar and insisted i release it. i am so glad he did say that because i do think it's a beautiful song despite it being about a not so beautiful topic"

"so the album cover" graham starts "any backstory behind it?" he produces a copy of
my album on vinyl from under his desk showing everyone the album cover

"well obviously the album is called no tears left to cry, and on the cover i've got silver tears coming out but i'm making no facial expressions which is meant to represent how on the outside someone can be numb and not show any emotions but on the inside there are many emotions, that's why the tears are silver because they are meant to represent emotions inside someone"

"wow that's beautiful" graham smiles "right so your giving us a performance of your song love me or leave me so you can go and get ready for that over there. that was lacy hope everybody!"

the crowd all cheer and clap as i get up from the sofa and walk off camera to the performance area, while i get ready for the performance graham plays a game with millie and noel.

a producer puts my in-ear monitors in and makes sure i can hear my music before telling me to get in position.

"this is lacy hope performing her brand new song love me or leave me!"

graham introduces. i'm nervous to sing this live for the first time, it is a vocally challenging song to sing and also it's such a personal song to sing.

i wrote it during the time where sam was always angry with me and i was starting to lose hope in the relationship.

"you used to tell me that you loved me once
what happened? what happened?
where is all of this coming from?
what happened? what happened?"

my heart hurts to know sam is watching this at home right now. we may be fine now and our relationship is completely fine but i know the first time he heard the song he was hurt.

"you say i'm crazy and there's nothing wrong
your lying and you know i know
baby what have we become
what happened?

we used to never go to bed angry
but it's all we ever do lately
and your turning away like you hate me
do you hate me? do you hate me? oh

you can take this heart
heal it or break it all apart
no this isn't fair
love me or leave me here
oh
love me or leave me here
oh
love me or leave me here, love