will we talk? {sam fender}

63

october

sophie hey x

lacy hi x

sophie i have sm to say idk where to start
sophie god lacy i am so sorry, i had no idea about any of the shit you are going through, i've been such a cunt and that's not what you need right now. you need a best friend x

lacy it's ok ig, but sophie what you said hurt me. i'm not going to use my mental health and everything fucked up with my life as an excuse, i was a dick and i will admit to that but you had
no right to say what you did

sophie i know and if i could take back what i said i would. in a heartbeat. i miss my best friend x

lacy i miss you too

sophie so what do you say to a night out soon? the whole group, would also give you and sam a chance to make up in some certain ways if you know what i mean 😉

lacy i would but now isn't a great time, my mum and dad need me and i need them. i don't think i have much partying inside me

sophie that's ok, we could always have a movie night

lacy maybe

sophie lacy i think it would be great, your allowed to live your life still

lacy i know...just what if something happens while i'm up in shields

sophie then we will get you a bloody helicopter to be back in london in record time, we're all going to help you

lacy okok, when are you next free?

sophie tomorrow?

lacy yesssss ok

—————
"heyyy" sophie smiles opening the door to sam and deans house, although i'm pretty sure sophie basically lives here now though.

i'm nervous to finally be part of the group again, it's going to be weird. especially because me and sam have been in a weird state with our relationship.

we are messaging non stop everyday, calling, facetiming, and obviously we cuddled when i first found out about my mums cancer.

but we haven't put a label on anything nor have we really been intimate with each other. i'm not sure if it's my call whether we get back together or not as i was the one that called it off in the first place.

"hey" i manage a smile, i don't feel like being here to be honest. as i was leaving i could hear my mum coughing from her bedroom, my dad told me they'd be fine but i can't help but worry.

she had her first round of chemo yesterday and hasn't been well since, violently throwing up all night and has no energy. i feel horrible for leaving her.

sophie pulls me into a tight hug, she's wearing the same perfume as when we met in the low lights for the first time.

we get into the house and walk into the living room, everyone is scattered on the sofas and floor all in chat.

when i walk in everyone smiles at me and i get a few "heys" and "lacy!"

sam gets up from his space on the sofa and walks over to me, sophie goes to her spot by ruby and daisy.

i let out a breath when sam wraps his arms around me without warning, i instantly sink into him. i've been needing a hug.

"you ok? if they are too much for you we can always go somewhere else" he says pulling out of the hug, i can feel his eyes studying me for any sign of emotion.

i've cried all my tears. i have no emotion left inside of me to be honest.

"i'm fine" i smile, he frowns at me

"lac, i would know that smile is fake from a mile away" he sighs, i look away from his eyes careful not to catch his eye contact.

"i'm fine" i repeat before heading towards the sofa and sitting down, sam joins me.

"sooo, what are we watching? and what are we ordering" tom asks everyone, there are shouts from all around the room at what people want to watch and eat.

"lac?" ruby turns to me with a big smile on her face "what about you? what do you want to eat?"

my stomach drops at the mention of food, it's starting to become a problem. i can't eat in front of anyone without feeling like i'm going to throw up.

and every time i do throw it up it makes some sick part of my brain happy.

"oh i don't mind, i'm not very hungry"