will we talk? {sam fender}

65

november

"and with the cancer spreading we are really sorry to tell you we don't think she has much time left"

the doctor in front of me and my dad says, we're both crying, my hands are shaking as my dad takes them in his

"we would say around another 4 weeks" he tells us, my stomach drops. she is sat completely unaware in the other room.

silent sobs escape my mouth. it's official, the cancer has fully beaten her, the chemo was unsuccessful and i was going to lose my mum.

for good

————
"what if i just come stay with you in London?" sam says over facetime, i'm sat at my desk, the old keyboard set up on it and my phone set up on top of that

"sam you being here isn't going to change anything, she's dying, there's no changing that" i say wiping the tears off my cheeks

"you can't be going through this alone lac"

"i don't matter at the moment, the only thing that matters is that my mum is out of pain and my dad is okay" i huff getting up and taking my phone with me

"of course you matter too lac, please can i just come down and be with you. even if it's just for a week, i can't look at you this broken and be sat here unable to fix it"

i sigh at him "whatever"

"is that a yes?" he asks with excitement, i can't help but smile at his excitement.

"your a prick" i smile

————
sam

i get out of the car with 2 bouquets of flowers, one for lacy and one for her mum. i've written a note inside for lacy, i would do it for sandra too but that would be weird considering i'm not very close with the woman.

i knock the door with the bouquets, however as a minute goes by nobody answers, i knock again a little harder but yet again no one answers.

lacy said she would be in the whole day, her dads car isn't here but that wouldn't mean her and her mum would be gone too.

i ring the doorbell but yet again no one answers, my mind fills with curiosity. behind me i hear a car, it's her dad.

i'm filled with relief when i see him. he looks different, but that's obviously expected when his wife is dying. there are bags under his eyes.

he makes a small smile when he sees me at the door "sam, you alright son?"

"yeah pete, no one's answering" i tell him gesturing to the house, his eyebrows furrow as he goes up to the door and puts his keys in.

he lets me in first and i look around, there is no sign of movement or sound.

"lacy!" pete shouts looking into the living room, i take the opportunity too to look for her.

that's when i enter the kitchen to see her on her back  on the floor completely unconscious.

"shit!" i yell abandoning the flowers on the kitchen island and getting to lacy "lac?!"

pete walks in behind me and swears as he gets on the floor too "lacy! wake up!"

i place my ear near her mouth, i can hear her small breaths "she's alive" i say tapping her shoulders and stroking her face to try and wake her up

"i'm calling an ambulance" pete says getting up and searching for his phone "hi yes it's my daughter, she's on the floor fully unconscious" he tells 999.

"lac wake up" i say again shaking her slightly, i don't want to hurt her, her face is so pale, she must have not been feeling well

"the ambulance is on its way" pete says shaking his head with his hand in a fist over his forehead. 

"fuck why isn't she waking up!" i say to him, i'm panicking, i need to stop panicking, this is stressful enough for pete already. his wife is almost dead and now his daughter is unconscious

"what if we pour water on her like in the movies" pete suggests chucking his phone on the kitchen side.

"aye i don't think that'll work" i say putting my hands on her cheeks "lacy please just fucking wake up!"

i've never been so glad to hear the sound of sirens, the paramedics rush in taking lacy, they tell me and pete to follow behind in the car.

everything is a blur, i feel a mess. i don't even realise we are at the hospital until pete pats my arm pulling me out of my thoughts.

"she's going to be fine son, she always is"