Eternity

Twenty Two

|RJ's POV|

I'm in complete black as I hold the umbrella, Joanna is in mom's arms since she doesn't want me to carry too much. I have no problem but right now it's like I can't feel my limbs, they feel heavy. Talon's hand is the only thing I'm holding besides the umbrella. Talon is holding CeCe beside me as we watch John's coffin be lowered into the ground, the clouds are dark above us as rain pours. Around me is my family but also John's family and friends, he had very few friends in this lifetime from the criminal world but he made friends outside of it.

Once his coffin hits the ground, tears run down my face. The rain pours harder the moment his coffin hit the ground, I wonder if I'm affecting the weather? John is being buried to his first wife Helen, I know he's happy with her.

"Come on" looking at the kids "time to go home"

We head to the car, dad will be driving mom and Joanna back as I'm driving Talon and CeCe. CeCe hasn't spoken much since her dad died, John said goodbye to them and to me which is still heartbreaking. His last words to me was that he loved me and the names he wishes the babies would be named. If they were boys and if they were girls.

Once at home, people are here to talk to me about how great my husband was and to each other. I zone them out and tell mom "Your in charge" heading up to my room, I take off my shoes and climb into bed silent.

"I'm not mad at you" in the window reflection I see Dom, plus I smell his cologne "I knew John was dying of pancreatic cancer, just waiting for him to tell me..."

"There's nothing anyone can say to you" Dom says "about losing a spouse...your best friend" looking at the wedding photo of the two us that is on the bedside table "but I do know about losing a father. If you want, Mia and I can talk to the kids"

"Thank you" is all I can say

Dom leaves as Danny enters the room "I remember losing Pamela" turning around to look at him, he wears glasses now and is much bigger than before. Grew a couple sizes "it was painful and I didn't know if I could make it"

"How did you?" I ask

He shakes his head "I just...I didn't go through the pain alone. I went through it with my girls and Joey and Jesse...which you will as well most likely. John still lives on through your kids, it'll be hard some days but in the end you know he's not completely gone"

"Thanks Danny" taking his hand smiling

He nods his head before leaving. As he left Cristina and Meredith enter the room, they join me in bed and we are silent. Because I'm far enough that I'm beginning to show, I sit down and lay my head down on the headboard while Cristina and Meredith are on either side of me.

"You jumped onto a tank" Cristina says

"Yeah" nodding my head, we stare at the tv that I had John put into our room. In the black screen we see one another.

"You jumped onto a tank" Meredith repeats

A smile forms onto my face before snorting a laughter, Cristina and Meredith smile and soon we burst out laughing. The door opens and Kimmy, DJ and Stephanie enter the room "Join us" waving them over "we are talking about me jumping onto a tank"

"Why the hell did you do that?" Stephanie asks

"Yeah" DJ agreed "it's something Kimmy would do"

"Who knows?" Kimmy suggests "maybe your secretly a Gibbler" we burst out laughing at that thought.

There's a knock on the door and it's dad "RJ? There's someone with a dog here for you" leaving the room, going down to the entrance it's a delivery person.