Sedative (Katsuki Bakugo x Reader)

For Now or Forever

Your POV

The following evening, I spent writing letters to everyone. I know Midoriya was writing his own, but I needed to explain my reasons for leaving. I explained everything, from the multiple quirks to the dreams I had been having. So far, I finished the ones for my most of my class, there were only four more I needed to write. These were definitely going to be the hardest. 

I decided to start with Eri's. It took me a few minutes to gather my thoughts, but I finally wrote down everything I wanted to say.

Dear Eri,

I'm so sorry, but I have to leave for a little while. I'm sorry that it has to be this way, but I just want you to be safe. And right now, you're the safest if I'm not here. This isn't forever, I'll come back once it's safe. I promise. I love you, Eri. I'm so glad I could be there to make you smile. 

Your Big Sister,

~Y/N

I felt awful that I had to write these letters, but I had to slip away without anyone noticing. Otherwise, they'd try to stop me. 

Taking a deep breath, I moved on to Hizashi's.

Hey Hizashi,

I wish I didn't have to tell you like this, but I'm leaving. I have to. There was something I didn't tell you when I woke up. I'll do my best to write it all down for you. 

When I stole those powers from All for One, a part of him came with them. He torments me in my dreams every night. He wants me to be the next bearer of All for One. Whether by force or my choice, he doesn't care. And I'm scared that he'll use me like he did Shigaraki. If he takes over my body, or comes here to look for me, I won't be able to protect you all. It's not safe if I'm here. I'm sorry that I can't tell you in person, but I know you would try to stop me. By the time you're reading this, I'll be long gone, so don't bother looking. 

But I need you to know that I love you Hizashi. You helped me grow, not just as a pro, but as a person. I am forever grateful for that. I'll come back eventually, when everything's safe. But I don't know how long that will be. Until then, I have a favor to ask. Look after my dad for me, will you? I hate leaving him like this, but it's for his own good. 

~Y/N

I started to feel the tears well up as I read the letter over. This was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I had to keep reminding myself that this was for the best. Because with each letter, it keeps getting harder and harder.

Dad,

I know that you're going to be upset when you read this. But I'm asking you to please not try and find me. I have to go for everyone's safety. Long story short, I stole All for One's quirks and now he wants me to inherit the power after Shigaraki. A piece of him came with the quirks that I took, and I have dreams about him every night. Dreams where he takes over my body and I am forced to watch while he kills all of you. 

I'm scared that he'll really do it and I won't be able to stop him. Or that he'll come here to find me. If I'm here, everyone is in danger. I have to go for everyone's sake, and I'm sorry.

I keep promising in my letters that I'm coming back, but if I'm honest, I don't really know how true that is. I want more than anything to come back soon, but until All for One and Shigaraki are stopped, I can't. 

So, in case I can't come back for whatever reason, I want you to know that I love you. Thank you for raising me to be a strong hero and an even stronger person. I'm sure you have your regrets about me becoming a hero or just how I was brought up. But I don't. I have loved every second of my childhood with you and I couldn't have asked for a better dad. I love you so much, and I'm sorry I can't be with you when you need me most.