Solitude

Chapter Twenty Eight

Jay made her way to the dining room and as usual was met by a million "bon dia's" from her favourite Spanish team.
Wishing them all a good morning back she found Alexia looking at her pointing to a caramel macchiato and patting the chair beside her. There she sat down with Patri, Jenni, Misa, Mapi and Leila who always seemed so happy in each others company.

"Morning chicas" Jay said sliding right into the booth next to her love, who kissed her cheek as she placed her self firmly next to her.
Their usual chatter about football continued as Jay sat there listening intently not minding the normal conversations at all. She felt comfortable here with these girls, Alexia rubbing her hands on Jays thighs soothing her without even realising it.

"Jay can I borrow you a sec" Emma appeared at the table.
Jay excused herself giving Alexia a kiss on her trailing hand leaving her to sit with the teasing comments her team mates would now have to make her endure.
Emma slung her arm over Jays shoulder and directed Jay to an empty table in the corner.
"Darling, how are we feeling today you look tired".
"I am tired I can't even hide that" Jay laughed quietly "but I'm okay, it's just a lot to process maybe it will all come out in the coming days. I think I've made me decision about the funeral, my mother wasn't always bad, she did bring me into this world so I should see her on her way out" Jays face sunk at the expense of her own words her eyes now filling with tears. Tears of acceptance at the situation and almost realisation of her words.

"Do you need me to come with you?".
"No honestly I'll be fine, I'll have my brother and it will probably be a small affair" she pauses gathering her thoughts. "The only thing I regret is that, now I have all this money could I of helped her get clean?" She was now weeping discreetly.
"Darling, no money could make someone do something like that. It has to be a choice. Even her love for you alone couldn't do it. It is an awful disease, one that you can't control and neither could she. This is not your fault, so don't you ever think it". Emma holding Jays hands as she expressed herself.
Jay nodded knowing that Emma was right, an addiction to drugs is an awful disease. It takes the people you care about from right infront of your eyes.
"When do you go?" Emma asked gently not trying to push.
"The funeral is the 23rd of July when you guys play Zambia. So I won't be about but I'll get a flight back that evening so I can see you all".
"Oh darling, well we better win for you then. Do not rush back to see us we aren't going anywhere" Emma now sitting next to Jay rubbing her back.
"No I'd rather be here with you guys and Alexia" looking over at the Spanish beauty as she said her name.
They exchanged smiles and both returned to their own conversations.
"Ale is Jay okay? She looks really sad like last night" Mapi asked looking over at Emma consoling Jay.
"Don't say anything but her mum died, they weren't very close but she is all confused about how she should feel".
The girls at the table all hung their heads at the news.
"That's really sad Ale, is there anything we can do?" Misa now holding Alexia's hands.
"No Nina I think she just enjoys you guys being normal around her. Her distance from her mum made her stop playing football. Once she escaped that life she felt she didn't need it anymore, that's why she doesn't like to play anymore".
The girls all look in Jays direction.
"I'm going to miss her when we leave this tournament, feels like she's one of us now" Patri spoke softly as she said this.
Alexia didn't reply but felt sad that possibly in two to three weeks she would evidently have to say goodbye to the girl she loved and didn't know what the future would hold. But until then she announced to the girls. "I'm going to win her the World Cup you know that right?".
"No we're going to win her the World Cup" Aitana and Irene turned around saying in unison sat at the table directly behind them.
"She's done so much for us already Capi" the little Spanish midfielder spoke strongly of Jay.

The girls returned to eating their breakfasts knowing if they didn't they wouldn't survive training in this heat.

"Join us at training today please, I want you too" Emma asked kindly if Jay.
"Si Emma" getting up from her seat.
"Jay I'm English, I think you mean yes!" Laughing as she said goodbye to Jay and joined her staff at their table.