Who Is Lucas Ryker O'Riley?

20. CONCERNS

 
A sharp glint of daylight forced its way through a tiny unguarded space in my window blinds, striking me directly in the face.

My eyes reluctantly fluttered open.

I cursed, believing the hot Texas sun had it out for me. Back in Los Angeles the sun had been hot, but the air was cool and breezy coming off the ocean, which made it bearable. I was now quickly finding the miserable heat in Texas was not so nice. We just got here and I already believed Texas to be far closer to the sun than California.

Sliding out of bed, I headed for the bathroom, and began to think about how the time had come to decide how to make the best of my extremely limited wardrobe, as I would no doubt meet some of our new neighbors today.

More importantly, I'd be introduced as a girl for the first time to the world. Oh how I wished mom and I could have made that trip to the mall already.

Maybe there's still time, I told myself. I'll beg her to take me, as soon as she's up this morning.

I gazed at my reflection while brushing my teeth and wondered if I could actually pull this off successfully. I was nervous with anticipation and hopeful, yet feared failure.

Okay, nervous was an understatement, I was becoming terrified, afraid I was about to make a mistake and embarrass not only myself but my whole family as well.

While continuing to brush my teeth, I began to try out names. I had to have the perfect one and didn't have long to find it.

While staring at the girl in the mirror I said each name out loud, to see what felt right, what fit. It had to sound good and be something I really liked, since it's the name I'd be answering to for the rest of my life.

"Katrina? Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Katri-Nah . . . Nicola? Natalie? Tori? Tori, huh. Rachel? Tori. Tori Anne. Tori Elizabeth."

I imitated moms voice to see how it would sound, "Tori Elizabeth, get in here this instant, young lady!"

I liked it, but wasn't sure so I mentally put it on the short list and tried a few more names.

"Tori Harper? Wait, Harper? Harper Elizabeth . . . That's it, Harper Eliza-nah, not Elizabeth for a middle name . . . How about Faith? Harper Faith, no... Faith Anne? Pandora? Domino? Oh, I know, Nightshade . . . "

I thought about Nightshade for a few moments then decided, no.

This continued for several more minutes before I finally landed on a name I really liked.

"Carla Mae? Huh . . . Carla. Carla, Carla, Carla. I like that for a first name. Carla Ashley? Carla Marie? Carla Faith?"

I decided I had found my new first name, however I still had time before I needed to lock in a middle name. I wanted to see what mom suggested to go with Carla, first.

Finished with my teeth, I ran my fingers through my hair and as my hand went behind my head I noticed a little hair in my armpit.

I immediately knew I had to get rid of it and the peach fuzz on my legs, in order to do this properly, so I headed to the bathroom in the hall, which was Dave's bathroom.

I stole one of his razors and shaving gel, then quickly returned to my bathroom where I began to struggle to figure out the feminine task of body hair removal, without slicing myself up.

By the time I was done, I had nicked myself several times, but nothing major.

Returning to my room I pulled out my old dark red mesh football jersey, a too small white tank top, and matching colored pair of old tight stretchy workout shorts. I slipped on the selected clothes and turned towards the mirror to see if this gave the appearance I intended.