Uncomfortable Truths - - (Drarry Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty-Seven - Insults

Ernie and Harry left the castle and headed towards the forbidden forest. They knew they needed a flat area or at least somewhere without a lot of stones or loose gravel.

"Harry." Ernie looked a bit sheepish, "Since we're ditching... I brought this." Ernie pulls a joint from his pocket. "Rooming with Longbottom has really changed how I look at the guy."

"Why not." Harry takes the joint from Ernie. They walk around smoking and looking for a place to run.

When they decided to change, they threw their robes over what they were wearing to better blend in with the rest of the school. Walking near the forbidden forest brought them close to the Care of Magical Creatures class. Harry wasn't taking that class this year and he's spent little time with Hagrid which he regrets.

"Well, if it isn't 'Arry." Hagrid waves at the two boys motioning them to come closer.

"Oh shit." Ernie drops the joint, "Harry I can't do this... I'm really stoned right now; I can't talk to Hagrid. He'll know. How are my eyes, are they red?"

"It'll be fine. It has to be. Hagrid won't get us in trouble, just don't say anything. We'll be ok." Harry drags Ernie with him as he approaches Hagrid's class.

"Hiya Hagrid." Harry grins. "Whatcha teaching today?"

"Can anyone tell Mr. Potter what we've got today?" Hagrid looks to his class, "Yes, Miss. Farnsworth."

Daisy from Slytherin replies looking at Harry's silly smile, "It's a moke."

"And can anyone tell us what a moke is? Yes, Mr. Steadforth."

"A moke, is a lizard, Sir." Ian answers.

Harry looks at the small green and silver lizard. Ernie elbows him smiling, "Can you speak to the lizard or just snakes?"

"Just snakes," Harry laughs, "I think that's enough don't you. Can you imagine having all the reptiles trying to talk to me... that would be mental."

Ernie laughs with Harry.

Hagrid looks at the two giggling boys. "Mr. Macmillan, can you tell us anything about these creatures?"

Ernie looks up in surprise, "Yes, Professor... they're lizards and ah." Ernie looks down, "Green and silver... you know what they remind me of Harry." Ernie laughs, "Your eyes and Malfoy's eyes... you two have lizard colored eyes... if you and Malfoy had a baby lizard, it would look like them." Ernie slaps Harry on the back laughing.

Harry looks back in the bin where the lizard is kept, "Yeah, I guess, but who would be the mum?" Harry giggles, "Can you imagine, Malfoy pushing a baby buggy with that little thing in there." Harry points at the moke.

"Yeah," Ernie puts on his best Malfoy impression, "Oh my god, Potter, how can you make me push this buggy... do you know who I am... honestly, Potter, this is your baby too... show some responsibility... oh my god, look at the blanket, it's falling off our little angel, that's your fault Potter... you don't know how to bundle a baby because you are a moron... every pureblood family can bundle babies Potter... you're making a mockery of the entire wizarding world... Potter, Potter, Potter... oh my god, Potter..."

Ernie's laughing, "And then you'd be like... Ah... Malfoy, you know everyone... ah... bundles babies different... and ah... purebloods aren't perfect... and ah, you know you're a Potter now too."

"Why is he a Potter?" Harry laughs.

"Well, Harry, you can't go around having babies with everyone. I mean, you'd have to be married first. Right? So, in this baby lizard world I guess you're the top. You're welcome, Harry."