Uncomfortable Truths - - (Drarry Fanfiction)

Chapter Fifty-One - Remember

Harry left the potions classroom, detentions sucked but what did he expect. Him and Theo have been balancing between foe and friend for a while now and he messed up. He doesn't know how everything got so out of control. He should never have kissed Seamus, that was a mistake. If he never kissed him, would they have ended up in bed together? Maybe, but why dwell on something he can't change? He just needs to fix this. Why would Malfoy sleep with Seamus though, he can understand how they ended up in bed together but why would Malfoy want him. He knows, he's not proud, but he knows that the sexual tension was building up between them. Falling into bed together wasn't out of the question but Malfoy, Malfoy shouldn't have wanted him. Fuck, this is his fault. Will Malfoy want him again? Seamus is a better person than he is; does that matter to Malfoy. Is he better looking? Maybe, he has better hair but I have better eyes. Not that Seamus doesn't have pretty eyes, he does. Fuck. Well Malfoy's the best looking out of all of them anyway, he could have anyone he wants. Does he want Seamus, maybe, he remembers that it was Malfoy who included Seamus. Is that better? No, it's not fucking better, Malfoy wanted him and that sucks. Fuck this.

Harry heads up to the Great Hall looking for a professor. He has time if he runs.

"Professor Sinistra." Harry stops the Astronomy professor, "I wanted to let you know I'm going to Hogsmeade." Harry smiles.

"Mr. Potter, it's already 8:15, you know you need to be back by 10:00. Can this not wait until next weekend?"

"I'll be quick, I promise."

"Very well, I'll let the prefect on duty know you're leaving. Don't be late."

"Thank you, Professor."

Harry runs from the castle down the path towards Hogsmeade. He can make it to the Three Broomsticks and back before curfew. It'll also put off dealing with all the baggage they came back from the wedding with. He can think about what to do when he walks back to the castle. It's not really his decision anyway. Is it? I mean, if Malfoy wants Seamus, I can't really do anything. Seamus is better than him, he's a functioning person, and me, well I'm just... It doesn't matter what I am, what if Seamus doesn't want Malfoy. That would be good, but what if he wants me? That's impossible. Malfoy and Theo are both better looking than I am. There's more, what's the word... I don't know, it doesn't matter everyone is more than me. No one else was locked in a cupboard because they were useless, unwanted; Theo wasn't, and neither was Malfoy. They were loved and wanted, not someone just to cook and clean. They weren't their parents' house elf like he was for the Dursley's. Nothing to worry about then. Seamus wouldn't want him, not if he has Malfoy and Theo to choose from. Good, that's good. Unless Malfoy wants him, he can't think about that. It's too much, it makes his chest tight.

"Potter."

Harry looks around, he's already in front of the Three Broomsticks. He made great time getting here. "Ernie!" Harry smiles, "How's it?"

Ernie is standing outside the pub with Justin.

"Hey Harry."

"Justin!"

"What are you doing here?" Ernie's smoking. From the smell Harry knows that Ernie isn't drunk although he does look messed up.

"Ah... I was going to grab a bottle. We drank all the stuff I had. Are you guys hanging out or heading back?"

"We were about to leave." Justin looks like he's been well served. "We can wait for you."

"Yeah, I'll just be a minute." Harry leaves the Hufflepuffs outside while he replenishes his stock of fire whiskey, and maybe a bottle of rum to change things up. He'll probably want this once the shit hits the fan. Maybe he could get a couple joints off Neville too. He knows it's a bad coping mechanism but like he thought back in the castle... fuck it.