We are...คือเรารักกัน (We are... we are in love)

Chapter 11: The classic way to a man's heart

It was as if my memory were overlaying my sight. It sent a chill down my spine and made the hairs along my spine bristle. Everything around me seems like it's just a blur. It was as if there was a big hole in my heart. I coughed dryly, like choking on air because I couldn't breathe.

I released my hand from the cart and slowly walked towards Phum, stopping and standing face to face with him.

We were just a step away. I looked into the other person's eyes with a look that I was sure I wouldn't dare do in normal times.

I pushed Phum's chest until he stumbled back. "Is it really fun?" I asked in a tone that even I wasn't familiar with. The person in front of me blinked and looked at me in confusion ."Are you really having fun? Ha! Are you happy when you tease me? Treat me like I'm a clown. I'm asking! You think it's fun, don't you?!!!"

My body trembled with emotion. I didn't realize when I reached out to grab the collar of Phum's shirt. I didn't know how I accidentally shouted it out. For what reason did I say that? I only knew that I was afraid. Afraid of being left waiting. And the person I was waiting for didn't come back.

I looked into Phum's eyes at a close distance. The sharp, dark brown eyes were filled with bewilderment and shock as I pinched the collar of his shirt, causing the veins on the back of my hands to bulge. At that moment it feels like there's a ball of fire in the middle of my chest. I wanted to punch him in the white face. Yet, I could only dream of it. Then I pushed him away.

As soon as Phum was out of sight, I turned around and almost fainted and fell down. Just now, nearly ten Thai people watched me and Phum. Damn it, should I pretend to be possessed one more time? Or find a paper bag to cover my head? Or chant Khmer Dam Din to escape from here. I gave everyone a wry smile, even though my hands were still shaking. I gripped the cart tightly and moved towards the checkout line without even bothering to look back at anyone. These people aren't from my neighborhood. No one knows me for sure. Don't worry. Just relax and take a deep breath.

*Dam Din is a legendary figure from Khmer history who has the ability to travel underground.

[T/N: They'll recognize you the next time they see you here 😂.]

I consoled myself and tried to chase away the vivid memories. It took a while for everything to return to normal. But there was one feeling that I couldn't shake off. That is... embarrassment. I'm embarrassed. Now people in this neighborhood must have gossiped about me. 'Two young men fought in the middle of Carrefour. The reason? One man believed he had been abandoned by the other.' The headline must be very disgusting.

"You cursed me and ran away like that?" The culprit followed close behind, but he didn't think to help pick up the items and put them down on the belt. So I had to keep bending over and rising up to pick up goods all alone. I wanted to take mousetrap glue and smack it in his face.

"What the hell was wrong just now?"

"(You're) so annoying!"

I replied irritably. I'm partly annoyed at Phum. But more than that, I was angry at myself for my erratic and unpredictable moods, like I had been possessed by a ghost. I didn't like that Phum has this much influence on my emotions. It had been a long time since I had had a panic attack, so long that I had almost forgotten about it. It's like seeing the smoke from a disaster area beginning to rise from the deepest depths & caverns of my heart. I could feel the strangeness of my own heart, but I still didn't have the courage and didn't want to find out exactly what it was. Please, have mercy on me. God, please don't let my fear come true. Most importantly, no matter what I'm afraid of, please don't let it be Phum. Must not be Phum. It shouldn't be Phum. Huh. I'm stressed.