My Savior 🔞 ( Part One )

Before storm

} ⚠️ Warning ⚠️ {
} This chapter includes sexual activity . If you don't like it just skip the pages {

We waited for a little while before sneaking back into the house. My whole body was in need. But why ? Why would it react to another guy? Makes no sense..
I dragged Miles with me, and once we got in my room I locked the door.
"How did it happen .. ? You are not supposed to ... You know .."
He just shrugged.  I didn't want to look but I could not help myself. He was hard... My face began to burn , I was feeling a little awkward but more excited and interested.
"Let's chill.. I .. don't know what I really want .."
"Should I satisfy your desires now?"
I was sure my face turned dark red. What the fuck? How can he be so bold??
"Jesus Christ man! It's already embarrassing!"
I took a deep breath. No lies, I found him attractive. It never happened with other guys before. And I was turned on as well.
My impatient ass couldn't wait long. Instead of sitting down and taking things slowly, I slammed him on the bed and got on top of him. Although he seemed surprised, I didn't really give us any time to talk about the next steps. I assumed how things go. Even if I only was with girls before, it shouldn't be that different.
I was greedy, my hunger for him was growing fast. While my lips were devouring his, my hands were discovering his body. Good for him, he wasn't able to run out of breath , but I was gasping. Both of my hands were on his wrists, holding him down. Even though he didn't seem to try to escape.
Once I stopped to catch my breath I looked at him. And by the way he looked up, this thing didn't seem alright...
"I'm too fast ?"
"Kind of..."
Of course. I was so dumb. Maybe he's not a real person, but I can't just force it.   I should have asked.
"I'm sorry. I didn't even think about if you ...want it or not .. I didn't even leave time for you to say anything"
I was selfish again. Wonderful. Maybe I should start to treat my bed partner a little better and to pay attention  to their needs as well.
"Sorry. I... Well, since you don't feel anything but I do, I wasn't bothered to ask .. besides you said that you had some problem"
He then sat up, still letting me be on top of him.
"Will, you're right, I don't feel but there is something more. It's wrong on other levels"
I began to lose my mood. Feeling stupid and ashamed , I looked away
"Imagine if I was real. Or a woman. And you just pushed me down. Yes, you need to ask , consent is very important. But it's not only that"
"Yeah I know, we both are men..."
He smiled. Really wasn't bothered about it, was he ?
"If I cared about it, then I would have stopped you the second time when we kissed"
There we go. I'm stupid and he's smart... I have so much to learn.
"Than what else seems to be the matter?"
"You're already feeling bad about the fact that I'll be gone in few months. I don't want you to be attached to me more. I don't want you to feel heartbroken. I'm just a machine, I am not worth it . You need real friends, a lover too perhaps . If we keep doing this,  you'll like me more and more. I can't let that happen. Maybe, if I was a human.."
As he was coming to the end of his sentence his voice got filled with sadness. Somehow he never failed to surprise me, whenever I thought he can't show any emotions
"I don't want you away... Not in a few months or ever... I can't.. you grew to be the only who understands me.. Miles please. Don't do this to me.."
He was worried about me being heartbroken once he leaves , but in fact I was already hurt. I wish I didn't get him. But on the other hand, I'm glad I did.  As much as I despised him, he really did become my friend . And with him I felt, I was changing slowly . Even if my father didn't give me credit for it ..
"I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to go, but I told you, that's what my life is about"
"But you're mine..."
His smile felt bitter now . I wasn't going to make the same mistake.
"Do you want though..?"
For the first time he gently pushed me away
"I can't. I'm not a person. You'll end up hurt. Will, you're heated with desires which is normal. If no feelings attached, I wouldn't mind. But you're not experienced. Not like I am, but I'd hate if you regretted it later"
I was feeling hurt already and my ego couldn't bear rejection. I didn't handle it too well. My mood died. I got up and fixed my clothes.
"Fine... I was only teasing anyway. Not like I sincerely want a stupid robot . No one would"
"Will please. I'm sorry, I know you don't mean it. You're hurt because I had to reject you"
"How about you shut up and leave? This is fucked up already. You have no morals. You're easy, you act like a dumb sex toy, offering your fucking services"
"Will ..."
"Leave me the fuck alone"
I've cried in front of him twice now.  I'm not going to do it for the third time
"Please let's calm down. You have me , but I can't be yours literally. It's not okay , you need a real lover and..."
I shoved him off of my bed. Anger gave me so much strength that I didn't even know I had. I was being violent.. he hit the floor with a sonorous thud. For a moment I felt worried but then I remembered.. he doesn't feel shit
"It wasn't really nice.."
"Aw? Fuck you! Get lost before I throw something at you!"
He got up, dusted his clothes off . His normally shiny eyes turned dark brown. I would say it seemed like the life left them but, there was no life to begin with.
"Find me when you're calm..I'm not mad at you"
And so he left. I threw a book after him. Fucking bastard. How dare he??
"You don't know what I need. I don't need fucking anyone else. Dumbass moron"
I threw myself on the bed and buried my face into the pillow to yell. Once I was done I stayed like that. I'm not finding him anytime. Trash. That's what *it* is.
I wished I was dead. When I thought I got someone who I could rely on, who understands me. How wrong could I be? That's what I get for being naive...