My Savior 🔞 ( Part One )

More pain

After the awkward situation with my mom and her friends I hurried to the kitchen. Whatever Miles wanted wasn't important, he saved my ass yet again.
"Oh man , this was getting so fucking awkwa...."
Before I could finish, he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me closer. It has never happened before. It was the first time that he made a move and kissed me. As it was unexpected , I quick returned the kiss then looked away, feeling coy.
"Now..what was it for..?"
"Was it bad?"
I liked this part of him. Risky, flirty and playful. Not the always rigid humanoid . These little actions , those weird little habits of his gave him human like personality. Day to day, made it harder for me to remember that he's only a robot..
"No..it wasn't bad.  I just got surprised.. "
"Does it not give you chills , the idea of getting caught? Risking to have a touch, a kiss. Isn't it nice ?"
Now he was speaking my language . It made me smile. He was being mischievous and I was totally all for it.
"I can't deny, I enjoy it too. But for now, let's lay low. Anyway. What did you want?"
"Nothing really. But I overheard the conversation, I felt you need to be rescued "
My smile disappeared. He was right. But what about next time? What can I do? What *should* I do?
"Miles I'm scared.. they'll find out. Then they'll be mad and I really have no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to do after that.."
He stroked my face. How much I wish his body was warm.
"We'll leave in two days. I'll help you with everything. I'm your assistant, I have to help you with everything. You're not alone in this"
I wasn't sure how to feel about it. My *assistant* . So that's all ? It's time to ask him..
"So...anyway, about that. I've been wondering. Tell me something.."
His eyes were shining, he was so damn positive. No wonder, I guess if you don't have feelings you don't really have negativity in your life.
"Hm?"
I was hesitant and shy suddenly. While biting my lip, I caught myself looking down. Now or never. I had to ask. I had to know!
"I like you and.. you're so fine and damn cute and all...we literally sleep together ..so I'd love to know what we are.. like, are we dating or..? Do you want ? To..be my boyfriend or something.."
"Let's not"
....
....
....
That was a very confident and quick answer and it left me speechless for a nice moment.
*Let's not*
"Alright..? Uhmm..okay well, thanks to be forward I guess.."
"Will, it's not that. But imagine us dating . Please keep in mind, slowly but you'd reach my age and even overcome it. We're dating, you're already 50 + and I'm still like this. I don't think it'd work. I enjoy your company and I'm very much fond of you, as much as a humanoid can be. And now that we're it, I'll never be more than a *robot* "
No matter how much it hurt, he made a point. He won't age, he may need repair in the future but that's it. Besides, I keep forgetting , that dad will take him back... Right. Why must I feel this when love only seems to bring pain..
"Will I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. But I had to remind you. I'll stay with you as long as you need me. You're changing in a good way and I'm proud of you. But you deserve someone who feels the same. Probably if I was human then I could. "
Then what are we..? What..? I sighed. I only want him. It's nothing but life's nasty mockery..
I stepped closer to him again and dug my face into his chest. How am I supposed to live with this bittersweet feeling? Loving and not getting anything back... Not even if we lived forever and I can't even blame him. Only because one of us was mortal..
"It hurts so much to love you..."
I whispered softly. Why must my life be this fucking complicated?
I spent the night alone with my thoughts. I wish it wasn't like this. I wish it was easier. Why? When and how could this happen? I was warned. Mom told me too to stop this foolish game of mine. But how does one fall out of love?
Maybe once my heart learns and gets tired of not getting loved back. But how long will it take?
Should I spend time alone without him? I should. But can I ? I can't..
He draws me to himself as a magnet. Every part of my being wants to be with him. How could a non human being fuck my life up this bad? Turning it upside down and inside out...
The only good thing is that, my parents either forgot about my exam's result or they were too busy to nag me. Time had never moved this slow like now.
Every hour took till eternity when it was finally weekend. Dad took Miles away for few hours before we could leave.
He said he'd make a quick check on him.
I was nervous. Seriously so many feelings , way too many if you ask me. Nervousness , anxiety yet relief and joy too. I was a damn mess.
I was done packing my things when dad came back with Miles. He appeared to be in an awful mood. I hated this frustration and tension
"Is everything okay? He's able to come, right?"
There goes the silence which I hate, followed by a soft growl. So, I was fucked, wasn't I ?
" Dad.."
I took a look at Miles to read the mood. He seemed neutral. He was all dressed up, wearing warm clothes. Finally not the stupid butler uniform.
"I promised your mother that I'd let you go for a week . But once you're back, we have a serious talk about some *things* "
Miles looked away. He knew something..
"Like...what exactly?"
Now I was really more nervous. He found out my failed exam, didn't he? Maybe I should tell.. if he promised mom, then he can't take it back anymore.
"Dad... I know you're mad. I swear I'll do better. I studied so hard and you know how Mr Black hates me... He barely gave me a chan..."
Dad frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. Yup, I was now in a deep shit.
"Don't you dare to say that you also failed your exam!"
"I thought you knew..?"
"No I didn't! And when did you want to tell??  Does it mean they kicked you out of school?"
He was angry. Not a surprise. Wasted years of money on nothing.. because I didn't take it seriously. Because I'm a failure.
"Dad...I...I really tried my best. I'll find a job or ..something. I promise, you don't have to wor..."
I stopped myself . If he didn't know about my result, then what was he angry about..???
"Wait..if it's not the exam that you wanted to talk about then what else?"
Miles shook his head. Can I say he looked worried ?
"We will talk about your future too! But the thing I wanted to talk about it also serious"
I'll faint. My heart can't take more. Nope.. just let me die. I've not seen him this furious for years... I didn't even dare to breath. I stood still in dead silence.
"Son. When did you plan to tell us that you are gay??"
...!!!
Fuck
My
Life