My Savior 🔞 ( Part One )

Bittersweet feelings

After my *meeting* with Hector I went home. I still felt the aftershock in my body. It trembled slightly with the sweet pleasure. Miles greeted me the very moment I got back. I swear , sometimes it felt like he was just a golden retriever in a humanoid's body.
"Welcome home. How was the meeting ? What did he want? If it's nothing personal of course"
He embraced me so tightly, and now I felt like a piece of shit. Miles had nothing else but sweet , helping and caring so far. And I really loved him. Yet ... I let his owner dominate me and I even liked it.  How am I supposed to face him?? How am I supposed to look him in the eye? 
"It...it was ok .. we just talked some.."
I mumbled. But he's not stupid, I'm sure he will figure out what happened. It's complicated. I could do literally anything, Miles has no feelings. I mean...it's like he does. Since he looks emotionally stable , very positive and most of the time smiley.  And here I am betraying him and his trust. Also, not as if he and I were a couple . But it's not an excuse for me to cheat.
...to cheat so easily. With someone I barely know and not even like. But here we are.
"I'm glad you didn't regret meeting up . I told you he's a nice person once you get to know him."
"Yeah...I bet. But let's not talk about it.."
He cupped my chin and turned my face towards him. I hated this.. now I could hardly separate them.. I was feeling vulnerable again. Shy too. The same way like an hour ago.
"Did he say something bad? Will, he's my owner but if he did you bad, I'll talk to him"
My heart was aching. Hector did nothing bad . On the contrary. He was trying to help in his weird way. Yes we had sex but I let it happen..
"Miles...it's not necessary. I love you..okay? I'm sorry..I don't deserve you at all..but I can't be without you"
He looked confused.
"Be a good boy for me, alright?"
That's it.
*Be a good boy for me*
That's what he said too before bending me over his table.
"Will, don't cry please. You're free to tell me what happened. But if you don't want it's okay. I'm here to support you in any possible way"
He's perfect. A humanoid who's more human than me . I'm full of flaws and he still accepts me. I can't do this. I can't do this to him, or us...
"Miles..don't leave me, please. Even if I tell you.. I can't live if you're not here by my side"
He pulled me into his arms so gently. Wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my back while putting kisses on the top of my head.
"Anything you want to tell, go ahead. I won't judge. I'm not leaving "
I dried my tears off, took a deep breath. He had to know. My heart felt heavy with guilt.
"We talked about things.. he said he'd let me have you if...if.. I.. go.."
I needed a moment. It's bad. I'm a horrible person. Miles was so good for me all the time . And I go screw with the first guy who looks like him..
"..he asked me on dates. He said..if I still want you at the end of the third month... I'm free to have you as my own.."
"And what did you say..?"
"If it means you'll be mine then I swallow my pride and go on a few dates..it means nothing for me. "
"You should feel bad. If it means nothing for you then why not? And he's human, you two can get to know each other"
"We had sex! "
It burst out of me. Miles' eyes got wide open. As if he was imagining the scenario....
"I didn't even hesitate... I didn't dislike it. I wanted it too .. I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again.."
He sighed and patted my head. I was more nervous. His silence was killing me. *SAY SOMETHING!*
"It's fine. If you wanted to it's okay. I knew he wouldn't force himself on anyone. If you liked it then ther...."
"Miles! I fucking cheated! I got that you don't have feelings but why can't you see that it's bad?? Say something! Say you're disappointed..!"
But how should he be disappointed or mad..? In the end, he is a robot... I should get used to it.  I love him but he will never show any kind of emotions that will help me feel loved. It's...so hard... I know he cares, I know he likes me ...but I can't feel the love I want. But can I blame him? He's not human..and never will be..
"Will, I'm sorry. I know what you did is kind of bad but remember that I just can't feel specific emotions. Therefore it'd be hypocritical of me to say that I'm mad at you or I'm disappointed"
Now I was disappointed.. why did my heart have to pick someone who is not able to show love ..
It was so painful. What's the use in being better when my heart keeps aching more than before.
"Whatever.. I go out..  I can't expect you to understand and shouldn't be mad at you for it either..."
As much as I loved him... I wish I didn't. Because everyday life reminds me that as long as I live , I will never be loved..

Hector's POV

It's been hours and I still can't shake it out of my mind.
You'd think I'm just some hijo de puta , but I'm not. I don't plan to play with that boy and his feelings.
The thing is , my humanoids are there to help people. With their bad decisions, with their depressions, with their mental illnesses. But they are not meant to show any kind of emotions. It's literally impossible. With Miles, something went wrong and I still couldn't figure out what.
What that boy is doing is not okay and not healthy. I'm not blaming him. I know those kinds of children.  Rich, spoiled with material things but neglected by parents . Now he has someone who genuinely cares. Why ? Because that's what Miles is supposed to do.
I want Will to understand that it's not real love. I want him to move on. I don't want him to fall for me. But I want him to notice that it's all about the company who gives him attention. I can do that too. He's not a lost case and I can see that. He's just a child and I only blame his parents. I was lucky that my parents spent so much time with me. And maybe because I came from a poor family.
I just have to find a way to help him move on while not being way too close to make him fall for me. Hurting him is the last thing I want. Besides, if I wanted Miles back I could include the police already. But it's no longer about my humanoid. Frankly it's the first time when a human showed strong emotions towards a simple object and it won't end well. I just know.