My Savior 🔞 ( Part One )

Lies

..as I expected. It wasn't enough that I studied nonstop the past weeks.
[...therefore you failed your exam]
I read it over and over... I wish I didn't. What am I supposed to do now? I failed.. it meant I'll get kicked out. I can hide, but how long? My father will lose his mind.
He'll send me to the military.. I'm pretty damn sure.  And he'll send Miles back before I can tell them how I feel . Does it even matter now? 
I got so annoyed and angry , I shut my laptop. The frustration made me pull my own hair. This day was getting worse and worse.
"If you hate me so much just kill me!!"
I yelled. Forgetting about the other people in the house. Then I broke down sobbing. I've had enough.
This is what Karma gives me for my shitty behavior? Wasn't it enough?
Soon my head started to hurt from crying. I did fuck my life up, didn't I ? Sooner or later , they'll ask about my result. I can procrastinate and be silent about it. But that'll get them suspicious. If I lie? Sure it'll work for a short time. But once they find out, because trust me they will, then my father will kick my ass real hard.
I was helpless and hopeless. A godforsaken loser..
"I just want to die... I'll never do anything good"
My mind was a mess again. And if it wasn't enough, I was feeling weak. No wonder, the last time I ate was in the morning.
"..then I go in"
That's all I heard before Miles entered. No offense , but I wasn't interested in seeing him now. Not after how he was with me earlier
"Did I ask you to come ? Leave me alone"
There goes my bipolar ass.. being a jerk to him as if he can sense anything.
"I knocked. You didn't reply. What's happening?"
"None of your goddamn business, now is it?"
That's my red flag. When I'm hurt, I try to hurt people back. With him, it'll never work. He doesn't feel anything.
"Let's calm down and talk. It's okay. I'm your assistant for a reason. We can manage together how to..."
"For fuck's sake now! You entirely ruined my mood earlier ! Dad was nice to me, I finally felt good and I just wanted your company but you..."
It hurt... I felt my heart in so much pain. Do I really deserve this all?
"...I don't know what the fuck is with you.. but next time maybe tell if you want to be alone without me. I'm used to it..I'll be fine. You're not the only one who can't bear my company."
I wanted to hate him all over again. Was he playing mind games? I don't know but whatever was happening , it was cruel...
"Will you are overreacting. I felt awkward when you caught me like that so I left. It had nothing to do with your company. I apologize"
"Then fucking say it maybe!"
I was angry at him. Angry at myself and the whole world for treating me this way..
This time he came to me and stroked my hair. I was hesitant to shove him away or let him close.
I decided on the latter. The smallest sign of kindness made me yearn for more. My whole life I was lacking to feel loved and accepted. That's all I wanted
"I'm sorry. I should have known that you'd take it personal. I understand that you're mad at me"
His voice was calm and soft. I slowly let myself lean against his chest, wetting his vest with my tears.
"..I failed Miles.. I failed my exam. What should I do?"
He was silent. Unlike with my dad, I hated Miles' silence. I wanted comfort, I wanted him to help, to say something. That's why he was here.
"Can't you redo it? Or talk to your professor?"
" I wish.. but sadly it's not possible. And he hates me. He won't be giving me more chances. He failed students for less of the attitude that I was giving him"
Silence. I should get used to it. Sometimes silence is not bad. I waited and buried my face into his chest.
"Let's just keep it as a secret for now. Till we return home. We'll have some time to figure it out. I'm here with you in this and we will take responsibility together"
Unless dad finds out earlier. As if I wasn't on his last nerves already.
I asked Milew to sleep with me, although in an innocent way now . I needed some comfort.
But even with him by my side, I kept tossing and turning. I barely slept like 2-3 hours maybe.
The next days were eventless.  Mom had a tea party with her friends, father spent most his time away at work. I was safe from his curiosity about my exam.
For my surprise mom asked me to join them. It felt weird but nice too I guess . I mean, imagine a supposedly straight 25 years old guy, sitting and having tea with his mother and other few women around 45-50
"It's been a while since I last saw you Will, you were only 12 or so"
The lady was Mrs Harrington, mom knew her since eternity. I used to know her sons, they're few years older than me. Both married...
"How's life going for you my dear?"
"It's nothing interesting.. everyday the same patterns. Thank you for asking"
Mom was silent. We were having nice time. They had their Earl Grey and I had some white tea . That's my favorite. Soon Miles joined too and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest .
"And who are you, my darling?"
Mother looked at me then at her friends. I felt it... It was the same look she gave me before . The day when she probably caught us being flirty..
"He.. he is my assistant. His name is Miles and *I* don't actually need his services right now..."
Of course I was only trying to hint that it's time for him to leave.
"Oh, an *assistant* . I thought maybe a new employee or something interesting "
The other woman giggled. Mom rolled her eyes. What was it supposed to mean?
"Aw yes, he's quite handsome for a robot, isn't he? "
Mrs Harrington kept her eyes on Miles, as if she was questioning him.
"Why he looks familiar. I swear I've seen his face before. But I can't tell for sure"
"Madam, I assure you, I'm the only one of my kind who looks like this. I don't think you could ever see me as I'm forbid to leave this house."
The other women were all mesmerized by him. No wonder, he was such a charmer , a gentleman.
"Is that so? You have a really good manner for someone not real human"
"Thank you so much. If the ladies don't need me here, I leave to find continue my duties "
And so he left us. Thankfully because my face was turning pink.
"To be frank dear Maya, for a moment or so, I thought your child had finally found himself a sweetheart"
Alright... This woman was trying to kill me. I was feeling so embarrassed but if I leave, they'd suspect something.
"Amanda please.. he's not even a real man. And Will is straight. Keep that in mind. We want him married and make us a heir"
Now it was awkward. Would my mother judge me if I came out gay? Would they be disappointed since I can't give them a grandchild? I was feeling nervous. Maybe I shouldn't tell them anything.. but living in the closet will kill me slowly. Having a secret lover is already stressing..
"It's..nothing like that. We're friends only.."
It hurt.. yet again my heart was aching.
"And how school is for you? My daughter finished with great grades. She wants to be a child psychologist. My son is studying and he's the top of his class. I'm so proud of them"
My nearly red face suddenly went pale. Not this topic. I beg!
"Now that you say.. Did you get your result on your exam?"
Fuck. My. Life.
"I...I didn't get it yet. I think, maybe next week, while I'll be away"
Mom raised her brow. She wasn't buying it.. and if I wasn't feeling nauseous already, her other friend interrupted me.
"That's weird. My son already got his result few days ago. And I'm sure he attends the same classes"
Did she have to??? Seriously! I don't even know who her son is!
"Really..? Weird... I keep checking but nothing yet.. it's so nerve wracking to wait.."
I was trying my hardest to hide it. They can't know. Not yet. I needed that week alone , away from these dramas.
"Mr O'Hara?! Can you please come to the kitchen ? I apologize but I need a little help"
My savior.. Miles saved me from the burning hell. I stood up as fast as I could , still trying to look calm.
"I apologize, I'll be back soon. Silly humanoid can't be on his own sometimes.."
And I left , putting on a neutral face . I didn't even care what did he want, I was just happy that I could leave that awkwardness.