My Savior 🔞 ( Part One )

Tired

⚠️ Trigger warning; This chapter contains topics that may trigger individuals struggling with depression and self-hate. Please read with care.

It's been two months since I last heard from Hector, and honestly, I couldn't care less. He never contacted me. No calls, no check-ins about Miles, no reminders to bring him for his so-called monthly reviews. And me? I never called either. There were no more fake dates. No more hookups. Just silence. And me. Alone.

I had Miles. But it didn't matter. I was still alone. So deeply, achingly alone. My parents? They barely came home, and when they did, we acted like strangers. We barely exchanged words. I felt like a ghost in my own house. Unseen. Unheard. Unloved.

The irony? I finally had the man I thought I wanted. And yet, I was more miserable than ever. Nothing had changed.

I stopped going out. I stopped trying. I drank my days away, skipped meals like they were optional, and slept through the nights with an empty stomach and a pounding head. Alcohol was my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I wasted away quietly, unseen.

I didn't recognize myself anymore. Hollow eyes. Skin so pale it looked translucent. Bones where curves used to be. I was disappearing and no one noticed. No one cared.

Miles tried. God, he tried. He made dinner, he cleaned, he stayed close. He kept reminding me to eat, to drink water instead of whiskey, to rest. He was worried.

But worry isn't love.

"Will, why aren't you eating? If I could eat, I would. I thought you liked jambalaya."

"Yeah, I did."

I pushed the plate away. I didn’t have the energy to pretend. Not even for him. And honestly? I didn’t care if it hurt him. He was just following his script. Caring because he had to.

He reached for my arm gently. I pulled away. Smacked his hand. Harder than I meant to, maybe. I didn't care.

"Let me the fuck go! I'm not a child! Stop pretending you care! That's your fucking job! You wouldn't even give a shit if I dropped dead unless you were programmed to!"

He backed off. Quiet. Like always. Because deep down, he knew I was right.

I stormed back to my room. If you could call it that. It smelled like rot and alcohol and hopelessness. I hadn’t showered in days. The windows were shut tight. I didn't even let light in anymore.

"I don’t know how much more I can take."

I collapsed on my bed, the blanket tangled around my legs, suffocating. I cried. I always cried. I cried until there was nothing left.

I dragged myself to the bathroom to wash my face. To look at myself and maybe recognize someone. I didn't. Just a shell. I leaned over the sink, breathing heavily. My body was shaking.

I opened the drawer. Something. Anything. My mother's scissors. Small, sharp, probably used for cutting nails or threads. Perfect. Just enough.

I didn't hesitate. Not tonight.

A few crimson drops into the sink. Red against white. The only color left in my life.

Tonight, I didn't care.

Miles' POV

It’s been weeks since Hector last reached out. I wanted to call him. I really did. But Will didn’t want me to. He didn’t want help. Not really.

Every day he slipped further away. Refusing to eat. To go out. To smile. To talk. His parents were ghosts. I stepped in. I tried to be enough.

I cooked for him. I suggested walks. I even offered to risk leaving the house just to get him outside. Nothing worked.

"Will, please. I made your favorite. Just a few bites. You need strength."

"I don’t care! Leave me the fuck alone!"

He wasn’t eating. Not sleeping. Not showering. He looked like a shadow. I was scared. Yes, scared. Even if I’m not supposed to feel that way. Even if I’m not meant to feel at all.

I gave him space. Cleaned up after him. Waited.

Then I couldn’t wait anymore.

I went to check on him. The door to his room was open. Empty.

My programming told me he was likely in the bathroom. But something didn’t feel right. Something in the air. I knocked.

No answer.

I opened the door.

And what I saw...

Will.

On the floor.

The sink red.

His arms bleeding.

And for the first time since I was activated... I truly felt something like fear.