Talk to me

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You know my life by now , there won't be a peaceful day ever. Last night was nice, I never imagined that once in my life I'd feel this happy. But...this joy didn't last long. Miles was turned back on when I woke up. He was pacing in the living room and Hector was nowhere.
"Miles..? When did he turn you on? Not like I mind . Where is Hector?"
"He is having trouble . The police were here. *Someone* called them on him "
"What the fuck?? Why? "
Silence. Even though he knows I hate it.
"Miles, talk. You're a humanoid but you're not mute. Talk I beg!"
"Will you're upset. I tell you when you're calm."
"But I won't be calm if I don't know why and who tries to fuck things up again!"
My anger was rising. This is not why I survived my attempt of suicide.. Hector was getting close to me and I began to understand him. I can't lose him this fast. Or at all!
"Your parents.. they said he forced you to leave with him"
"Jesus Christ! I'm an adult! They didn't give a shit my whole life!"
"I know.. I'm sorry I wish I could do something, forgive me"
I had to stop this. Miles was innocent. I took his hand and kissed it. I felt bad whenever I snapped on him.
"I'm sorry..it's not your fault. I shouldn't be so rude to you. I know you can't get hurt but it doesn't give me the right to be an ass"
"It's fine, you're worried. I'm here."
"Thank you. I have no idea what could I do alone. I..just noticed how dependent I am. Please take me to the bank . I take the rest of my money then we call Hector or see the police"
"Alright. He'll be fine, I promise"
I wanted to believe my my inner voices said he needs help. I came to realize, I can't let go of Miles. Not yet. Not only because I loved him but I needed him more than before. Thankfully, my parents couldn't get my account frozen. I didn't have much, but I took every single penny I had. Just in case.
"Will. He's fine, trust me. Please don't stress yourself"
"I can't help it Miles. Finally someone who.."
"Who has feelings for you, right? You can say it, I'm fine. You can't hurt me or break my heart. I don't even have one. Seeing you happy is all I want. You deserve it"
"This all is just...so.. confusing.. I want to be with you but..with him too.. We spent a nice night together and it didn't even include intimacy."
"See? You like him. I knew you'd . I told him before to give him a chance. He is a good person. Give him a chance, alright?"
He then placed a kiss on my head.
Shortly we arrived to the police station. Hector was already outside, checking his watch.
I literally burst out of the car to rush to him but he stepped away.
"Hector.."
"O'Hara. I'm pretty late from work. You can head home"
"Huh? But..can't you tell me what happened? I was so worried, I hurried here as fast as I..."
"Like I said, head home. You got nothing to do here"
I had no any idea what was this change suddenly . Maybe a misunderstanding, I didn't want to make a big deal of it but hell, it hurt.
"Yeah..it's not like you and I didn't just walk together last night in the rain and you didn't confess your...."
"Drop it! Show is over. Go home"
What . The. Hell?
I wanted to ask him again but Miles took my hand and took me back to the car. I literally yelled in anger.
"What the fuuuuuuuck?!! What is his damn problem?!!"
"Will. He's fine, like I told you. He'll be back later and you two can talk. I'm sure it's only a charade"
"Miles..I'm tired. I'm so very tired! Why can no one be just honest?! Do I not deserve it??"
If I say I was crying again I don't think anyone would be surprised by now.
Is there no way my life could be back on track? Can't I have a break? Only my heart...
"I don't know what got in him but you're right, you deserve honesty. Let's see what he has to say when he's home"
One minute he's all warm and loving , and now this..cold and distant. I'm trying to understand him. Why is it so easy with Miles but difficult with everyone else? Maybe it's my destiny? Because I can't pick? Because I'm greedy and want them both? Who knows..
Miles drove us home, and I went back to bed. Miles decided to clean up the mess of the wet clothes we left in the bathroom then cooked something. He was...perfect. But does it mean anything if he can't feel? With a headache I fell asleep . Later I was awakened, the familiar gentle smile was the first thing I saw. I rubbed my eyes, my stomach began to growl so loud. I couldn't remember when I ate last time.
"Hey. Time to wake up.."
"Miles"
"Uhm, no he's in his sleeping mode"
I groaned annoyed. The fucking jerk!
"Get lost!"
"Wow..ain't you sweet?"
"You damn bastard! I don't want to see your stupid face! Turn Miles back on! I'm not dealing with your stupid...."
"Will, I'm sorry. I apologize for how I acted earlier. I didn't mean it"
"Yeah? How about fuck you?!"
"Alright, I understand you're mad. But don't you want to know what happened?"
I wanted. I was curious and wanted to know everything. But mostly why he acted so harshly.
I sat up and turned away from him. I felt my heart ache again. I took a look at my arms. I wished I was dead. I was wishing that very often lately.
"Will..give me a chance"
"I'm exhausted.. you have no idea how I feel. And it's like..you're just playing. I don't know how long I can live like this. Day to day...I'm giving up . I thought..finally, you showed your sweet side but now I know, it was all a lie. The very first given occasion, you turn your back to me and I feel betrayed all over again"
"That's why I would love to explain. I took you here, I told you can stay as long as you wish. I even offer you my help. Just let me explain what happened "
I wasn't sure if I wanted it. I just wanted to sleep, but forever. To avoid all this disappointment and pain. Why would God send me a man who can't love me but treats me so well? I really doubt I deserved all shit I kept going through..

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