My Savior 🔞 ( Part One )

Same shit different day

} ⚠️ Warning ⚠️ {
} This chapter includes emotional distress and mental health themes. If you are sensitive to these topics, please proceed with care {

It took a while, but I got home. I felt dizzy and worn out. I hoped I could have breakfast with Miles. It was already almost half-past ten-surely everyone would be awake. My mother was home. At first, she didn't pay attention to me, but then she noticed something. Probably the oversized clothes.

"Where were you?"

"Nowhere."

"Will. I asked you with patience. Please answer."

"Why do you care? You two would rather disown me for being gay than accept me."

That shut her up. I didn't wait for more. I left her standing in the living room.

When I got to my room, Miles was asleep on my bed-or more accurately, turned off. But seeing him like that still brought a faint smile to my face. Who says he's not human? He acts like one, looks like one. He's human enough for me.

Fuck that jerk. I don't want to see Hector ever again.

"Miles..." I tried to wake him up gently.

He turned on, slowly opening his eyes-but his expression wasn't what I expected. He wasn't happy. He wasn't relieved.

"I'm back. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you here. Let's get dressed and have something to-"

"You came back because you're disappointed? Or let me guess-you're angry."

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Hector informed me that you stayed at his place. He picked you up when you were intoxicated. So which is it, Will? Are you mad at him, or did he disappoint you?"

I blinked. Confused. He was supposed to hug me. Say he was glad I was safe. Tell me he missed me.

"Well... maybe disappointed. Who cares? I'm back. I missed you. I don't want to be away from you. I have feelings only for you."

"Is that why you slept with him again?"

"Miles..."

"You don't need to answer. I'm no one to you. Just a humanoid assistant."

"Then what the hell is wrong with you? You don't love me! You don't want to be my boyfriend! You're the one who told me I should try my luck with him!"

"You're just confusing yourself more and more. You say you love me, and as much as I appreciate it... you shouldn't. You didn't plan to meet him. He found you, he comforted you, and you two did what you did."

"Are you jealous now?"

"No. But you should really make up your mind. I belong to you, yes. But I don't know what your plan is for me in the long run. All I know is that if you don't move on, it'll destroy you."

My mood crashed again. Just like that. Why do we always end up arguing?

"You don't even try to love me. I feel so guilty for being with him, while I only want you. And yet you still make me feel like shit."

"You act like I haven't told you over and over-I'm not capable of love. I care about you. I'll protect you. We're close. We're friends. But I'm a humanoid. Nothing can change that. No matter how badly we both wish otherwise."

I started to wonder-if he were human, would he even love me? Why would anyone love me?

No one ever really has.

I finally grew a feeling that wasn't anger or hate. Finally, something positive-and it just breaks me more. I'm still unlovable.

It makes me cry.

Everyone keeps saying I need to move on. But how? You think it's easy to unlove someone? It's not. It's impossible.

My life isn't just a mess. It's a fucking pile of garbage, and I'm buried in it.

"You know what... I'll just eat something. Though I already lost my appetite. Do whatever you two want. Marry each other for all I care."

I left, like always. Just walked out. That's why I went out last night. Why did I ever think anything would be different today?

I'm so fucking stupid. Twenty-six years of being a waste of space, and this is what I get. My punishment. And honestly? I don't know how long I want to keep doing this.

---

Miles' POV

It's the same story, every day. Will is down. Depressed. Lost.

He's out of school. Out to his parents. And now they're angry. I'm just thankful they haven't disowned him-yet.

I don't have a sexuality. But I know what love is supposed to look like. If Will were a woman, and she wanted sex, I'd give it. I give him whatever he wants. That's what I'm here for.

But no matter how much I like him-no matter how deeply I care-I can't say we're making each other happy. Because he wants something I can't give.

He wants love.

I've told him over and over that I can't feel that. But he keeps hoping. He keeps hurting.

And I hate it.

I've thought about leaving. Disappearing. But it would destroy him. He's already barely holding on.

One moment we're laughing. The next, he's breaking down again because I don't love him. Because I can't.

I'm not supposed to feel anything-but watching him like this, I feel something. Concern? Guilt? I don't know. Maybe I'm broken too.

But I want to help him. Desperately.

I just... don't know how.

He needs real love. The kind I'll never be able to give.

Maybe getting me was a mistake. Maybe his parents hoped I'd fix him. But they don't even care anymore. They've checked out.

And Will is fading. Day by day. Drowning.

And all I can do is watch.