My Savior 🔞 ( Part One )

Let me be

After the things between me and Miles, we decided to keep it as a secret. We were close. Closer than ever. But I didn't want my parents to suspect anything.
Yes I was a little worried about their reaction if I told them that I'm gay. Will they accept ? What should I do if they won't ?
Let's stay positive, but even if they accept me coming out.. I can't go straight and tell them who I love.
As much as I love him, this is a little ridiculous. People will judge. And I shouldn't care, right? But what am I supposed to do? He's still nothing more than a very good looking and kind humanoid. Alas, I can't be in a relationship with him. I mean yes I can but how long? He won't age..he won't feel anything ever.
Miles is friendly, understanding and can be surprisingly flirty but he's not capable of feeling love. And in the long run, it'll destroy my mental health.
It was January , I was trying to get ready for my exams. Sadly, with all the dramas and the emotional rollercoaster in my life, I wasn't sure that I'll pass.
I tried my best. I couldn't just give up now when finally things began to look better, now when I started to feel a little positive about my life
I stopped skipping classes. I even went home in time. My mother praised me, as if I was still a little child. I'm not going to lie, it felt actually nice.
My father ? He didn't say much, at least didn't scold me either. Not like I gave him any reasons.
Meanwhile, he talked to Lorette's father about his fucking son , hurting Miles. That dirty bastard.
Thanks god he had to pay. Of course that son of a bitch tried to deny that it was him. But Miles' memories were checked. It could get actually worse if that asshole hit him on the head hard enough. Father told me that it could cause him memory problems just like for humans.
And thinking about his memories, it sends shivers down my spine to imagine if they had to do it again in the future . I can't allow them to see what we are doing lately.
I can't believe that my life changed this much within less than a year.
I still had a lot to go and lot to do but hey, I was proud of the progress I made. And of course all because of *him*.
For a change, my parents spent a lot of time home since they came back. While I didn't mind, I wish I could be with Miles. But it was too risky with them around. I had to let him in my room occasionally . We didn't repeat that thing we had earlier. We were only chilling ,cuddling and talking which was okay for me. It felt like... I was in a healthy relationship finally. But sadly it was everything but healthy.
I was sitting with my father while he was doing some crosswords . He seemed to be in fine mood. For now.
"Dad.. sorry that I'm bothering you but I was thinking"
"Hm?"
I could see him peeking up, finally giving me attention.
"Since things are going fine and I'm almost done with my exams , maybe I could have a weekend alone in our wood house ... "
I forgot to mention earlier. My parents had our small but cozy house in Wyoming. I remember we used to go there when my uncle was still alive. We haven't visited it for long years. But dad had someone who took care of it.
It was a magical place. Surrounded by mountains, the beauty of nature. The most beautiful meadows as far as the eye can see. The bluest sky and all the wild animals out there . It's been so long, but I still can feel the fresh air, the clear mountain streams are still in my memories.
The sound of the bobcat, the howl of the wolves. I remember seeing bears too , thankfully from the distance only. It really is a different form of life. Far from the big, noisy city . Far from the crowded places , full of people. Going there again would make me good.
"Tell me you're joking"
I should have known he won't allow me . No matter how much I change he won't let me be. He won't see me doing better.
"I'm not... Please. We haven't been there for like 20 years almost."
"Son, unlike you I'm not unemployed, neither is your mother. We can't just take a leave whenever we please"
"I can go alone. I'll be fine. I promise dad. You just have to trust me . I won't cause any problems. And it'd be only few days.. after my exams I have a free week anyway"
He just grimaced. I couldn't read his face now. Was he thinking? Was he judging me? Was he ignoring me again?
"That's the thing William. I can't trust you. Look what happened, you couldn't even keep your humanoid safe. I told you before too that he's NOT allowed to go out, yet I caught you taking him for your silly shopping too"
That's true. He told me in the beginning. But I never understood why I cannot take Miles out . Others had humanoids too and some even accompanied them to work..
"Dad I said I was sorry. I take care of him. See, he's in better condition and I paid my part"
"You're not going anywhere alone and you're certainly not taking him with you either. End of story."
What did I expect? If it wasn't for myself, I could just give up. I played his trust away. Not the last time, that was only the sugar on the cream .
"Darling, let him have some freedom"
My mother appeared out of nowhere. Her love for me was limitless, no matter how many times I failed them. She was just a little controlled by my father
"..I believe he'll take care. I trust him . He proved that he can change and you got him the assistant,let them leave together then. They'll take care of each other"
It felt like my heart stayed still, not making a beat , that's how nervous I was. Dad was pondering. Didn't give any answer right away. This time mom got impatient. I saw her raising her brow questioningly.
"If I'm talking to you, I expect you to answer."
"What do you want from me? To be happy about how this brat is failing his life and expect us to support him longer?"
"He is *not* failing. He's struggling and I'm proud of him. Maybe he wasn't doing well because we barely supported him at all"
"Did you say we BARELY supported him? I let him stay in school to study because he's lazy. He doesn't want to work. He's getting in trouble and bringing shame on both of us. Yet do or do I not giving him money that he didn't even earn? Say again that he's not being supported. This assistant thing is the last straw."
I hated it. They were arguing. They used to at times but now I was the reason . I wish I kept my mouth shut.
"It's fine mom..it's okay I stay. I...need to study more anyway..."
"You've done a lot the past months. I can see drastic changes in your behavior too. I'm proud of you , you deserve a little fun"
I wasn't sure about that, but it made me feel bittersweet that she was so supportive and stood up for me against my father
"We'll discuss this later dear, don't worry about it"
It was my clue to leave. I didn't want , because I knew they'll be fighting but I didn't want to make it more awkward than it already was . I decided to make myself some coffee and left to the green house. The place of relaxation. For my mind at least.
I was sitting alone, sipping from my cup while was getting lost in my thoughts.
"

I bet my ass he won't let me leave. Not like it should be a surprise.."
I murmured for myself. Then I realized. I haven't seen Miles the whole day. I could go and find him, but perhaps it was time to give him some break as well. I felt my own personality being suffocating. Even for myself.
What if in some miracle, dad allowed me to go? And if Miles didn't want to accompany me? What if for him whatever we had was only a little game? Why would he take it serious? Not like he'll ever feel the same at all..
And with that train of thoughts, I fucked myself up and threw the cup away with anger. It hit the ground and broke into million pieces. I was certain that my heart would be the next, having the same fate as that cup...