My Savior 🔞 ( Part One )

Let me be

After what happened between me and Miles, we decided to keep things a secret. We were close. Closer than ever. But I didn’t want my parents to suspect anything.

Yes, I was worried about how they'd react if I came out. Would they accept me? And if they didn’t... what then? I tried to stay optimistic, but even if they accepted it, I couldn't just tell them who I was in love with. As much as I loved Miles, it still felt ridiculous. People would judge. And I know, I shouldn't care, but how could I not? He was still, in the end, a very attractive, very kind humanoid. Nothing more. At least not in the eyes of the world. I could be in a relationship with him, sure, but how long would it last? He wouldn’t age. He wouldn’t ever *feel*.

Miles was understanding, flirty in his own way, sweet... but love? That wasn’t something he could return. And deep down, I knew that would eat me alive.

It was January. Exams were coming, and after everything—the emotional chaos, the fights, the breakdowns—I wasn’t confident I’d pass. But I tried. I really tried. I couldn’t give up now, not when my life had finally started to feel... possible.

I stopped skipping class. I started going home on time. My mother praised me, like I was a little kid again. And you know what? It felt good. My father didn’t say much, but at least he didn’t scold me anymore. I hadn’t given him a reason to lately.

Meanwhile, he spoke to Lorette’s father about what Philip did to Miles. The bastard denied everything, of course, but Miles' memory logs gave us proof. We were lucky his head wasn’t hit harder—his memories could’ve been lost. And if that ever happened... if they ever saw what we’d done together? It scared the hell out of me.

I still couldn’t believe how much my life had changed in under a year.

My parents were home more often now. I didn’t mind it, but it made it harder to be with Miles. We stole moments when we could. Sometimes he’d sneak into my room and we’d just lie there, talking, holding each other. We didn’t repeat what had happened before. And I was fine with that. It felt like a relationship—a real one. Safe. Comforting. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t healthy. None of this was.

One evening, my father was sitting with a crossword puzzle. He seemed calm. Maybe it was a good time.

“Dad... sorry to bother you, but I’ve been thinking.”

“Hm?” He glanced up, waiting.

“Since things have been going well, and I’m almost done with my exams... maybe I could spend a weekend at the cabin?”

Ah, the cabin. I should’ve mentioned it sooner. My parents owned a small, beautiful house in Wyoming. We hadn’t been there since my uncle passed. But Dad still had someone keeping it up.

It was magical. Mountains, meadows, streams. Wildlife. Quiet. Peace. I wanted to breathe that air again.

“Tell me you’re joking.”

I should’ve known. No matter how much I changed, he wouldn’t let me be.

“I’m not. Please. It’s been almost twenty years.”

“Unlike you, I have a job. So does your mother. We can’t just take vacations whenever.”

“I’d go alone. Just a few days, Dad. You just have to trust me. Please.”

He grimaced. Silent. Thinking? Judging? Ignoring me again?

“That’s the problem, William. I *can’t* trust you. You couldn’t even keep your assistant safe. I told you from the start, he's not to leave the house. And yet, I saw you shopping with him like he’s some... pet.”

Okay, fine. That happened. But others took theirs out too. Why was mine different?

“I said I was sorry. And I took care of him. Look, he’s better now. I paid my part.”

“You’re not going. And you’re definitely not taking *him*.”

What did I expect? Of course he’d say no.

“Darling, let him have some freedom,” my mother said gently.

She always stood by me, no matter how much I failed. Even if she was under Dad’s thumb.

“He’s changed. I believe in him. Let them go. They’ll look after each other.”

My heart stopped. Dad didn’t respond right away. Mom raised an eyebrow.

“If I’m talking to you, I expect an answer.”

“What do you want from me?” he snapped. “To clap while he ruins his life and expects us to support it?”

“He’s not failing,” she argued. “He’s trying. And maybe he struggled because we didn’t support him enough.”

“*Not* supporting him? I pay for everything! He doesn’t work, he doesn’t study, he gets into trouble, and now this assistant? That was the last straw.”

I hated it. Hated that they were fighting. And it was my fault.

“It’s fine, Mom. I’ll stay. I should study anyway.”

“You deserve a break,” she said softly. “I’m proud of you.”

I wasn’t sure I deserved that, but it meant something. A lot, actually.

“We’ll talk about it later,” she said.

I took that as my cue to leave. I didn’t want to stay and make it worse. I grabbed a cup of coffee and headed to the greenhouse—my sanctuary.

Sitting there, sipping in silence, I let my thoughts spiral.

“I bet he won’t let me go. No surprise there...” I muttered.

And then it hit me. I hadn’t seen Miles all day. I could’ve gone to find him, but maybe he needed space too. God knows I can be suffocating. Even for myself.

And what if, by some miracle, Dad *did* let me go? What if Miles didn’t want to come? What if this thing between us was just a game to him?

What if... he never felt anything at all?

I clenched my jaw and, in frustration, hurled my coffee cup to the floor. It shattered into pieces.

Somehow, I knew—my heart might be next.