𝙈𝙍. 𝙉𝙄𝘾𝙀𝙂𝙐𝙔

INSOMNIAC

I tossed and turned in the crappy hotel bed, the pillows too soft but not soft at all, the mattress carving into my back.

I was surprised to hear the snores of aristos in the bed across from me, the sweet smell of weed drawing me out of bed.

I rubbed my eyes as I made my way over to a stoned Scott who stood outside on the balcony, blunt in hand.

He seemed startled as I approached him, "Can't sleep?" he asked in a calming whisper.

I swear if he would just whisper to me all night long I would be out like a light.

I shook my head in response, "Nope." I popped the P.

Scott handed me the blunt and I gladly excepted it, not too stoked that I would now have to brush my teeth again.

We stood quietly as the October wind hit me, feeling fresh on my skin leaving me satisfied.

I gained curious on our previous conversation from the plane, "What's the meaning of $uicideboy$?" I asked softly, not pressuring him in answering since he seemed kind of nervous earlier.

"Shit..." he shook his head, "the name speaks for itself." I could feel myself frowning at his response.

I really hoped that the two hadn't felt that way, though I knew how possible it was.

There was a long pause between us before a calming voice spoke up, "Me and Aristos... we was really fucking tired, just made a pact. If our music career didn't become something by we hit 30, we would kill ourselves." I stood in silence, frozen even.

"Scott..." I could cry if I wanted to, I hated the fact that he felt like suicide was a solution, the fact that both of them had felt like that.

I thought long and hard about what to say to such a serious topic.

"I'm so glad you didn't, you shouldn't have to feel like suicide was an option. I could already tell that you and your cousin are fucking amazing people, the world wouldn't be the same without you guys, seriously." My lips curved down.

His pupils huge as his sweet tired eyes looked into mine, "You something special, girl." he said sympathetically.

I couldn't dare to look any longer in fear of doing something I would regret and ruin for the both of us.

Just taking one glance at his lips absolutely set me off, I quickly tore my eyes away from his.

I could hear him clear his throat in indication of wanting to change the subject, "How old are you?" he asked in his soft groggy voice in need of sleep.

I was well aware that he didn't sleep most nights as I often heard him roaming the house.

"twenty-five." I replied.

He hummed before continuing, "I made it to thirty." I took a glance at his side profile as he stared off into the beautifully lit streets of Denver.

His face illuminated in lights from the outside, complimenting every feature of his face perfectly.

"And i'm so proud that you did." I said as I continued to stare.

I could hear a sigh before the puff was inhaled from the blunt that he now held, smashing it on the ashtray before turning towards me.

"I'm gonna head in."

"Okay, goodnight Scott." I sent a light smile.

"Goodnight Ivory." he planted a soft kiss on the top of my head before turning away to walk inside.

I turned back towards the city, staring at the brightly lit buildings in front of me.

How could I have gotten so lucky from such a terrible event?

I sighed before going in to brush my teeth and head to bed.

As I lay awake I just kept asking myself why the two would ever even think to do that to themselves.

I knew that they wouldn't tell me everything just yet, but I couldn't help but be curious, wanting to understand everything.

——

I was thinking about the night before, it replayed over and over in my head.

How could I be so stupid to tell her that?

I'm pretty sure it was a heat of the moment thing.

I groaned as I made myself get out of bed, it wasn't easy.

If I had the choice to stay I would've taken it.

"Hey sleepyhead." Ivory greeted me as I walked into the open bathroom where she leaned into the mirror as she painted her eyelashes in a coat of black mascara.

"Who you gettin ready for?" I asked as I grabbed my toothbrush, dragging a line of minty toothpaste across the soft bristles.

"Who do you think I know?" she rolled her eyes at my stupid question.

"Could be some super spy who's now breaking off to see her super spy husband." I shrugged as I brushed side to side.

"You're right, I'm going to tell him all about the new invention of a good ol' dry twenty piece nugget." she laughed as she played along.

"Who knows? You just might." I smirked.

"Where's Oddy at?" I asked her.

"Went to get breakfast, and by breakfast I mean corn dogs from a gas station." she giggled.

"Mm." I pretended to enjoy the thought of having a crappy corn dog for breakfast.

——

I focused on my other eye as I fought everything in me to not look at Scott as he took a piss behind me.

He didn't even bother to tell me that he was going to either.

It's not like I wanted to watch him pee but now it was a little hard not to look just because I knew I wasn't supposed to look.

"God are you almost done?" I asked as he took the longest piss in the whole world, "I need to get my chapstick." I pointed to my makeup bag that was facing towards him.

"No one said you couldn't look." I could just about HEAR the smirk on his face as he talked.

I rolled my eyes in response even though he couldn't see them.

"There you go, pretty princess." he said full of sarcasm as he washed his hands, I was glad he atleast did.

I sent him a glare as he pat my back before walking out to grab some clothes and probably pack his stuff up.

1055 words