𝙈𝙍. 𝙉𝙄𝘾𝙀𝙂𝙐𝙔

THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

"And do you really think that that's a good idea at the moment?" My therapist held her clipboard in place with her wrist, "I mean it's not my worst..." I thought back to a few nights ago.

"But where do you think you're at with your mental health? You know, with your mom and everything." I was surprised to hear her talk about my mother as it had been a year since her death.

"I'm fine!" I dragged my word, "Besides it was last year I don't even think of it much." She looked at me like I was crazy, making me furrow my brows.

"But Ivory, it's her birthday on Tuesday." She had looked genuinely concerned that I hadn't remembered, I guess I had really just blocked out everything about her since she died, trying to avoid my problems and move on with my life.

She sighed, "Ivory, you know it's not good to avoid traumatic experiences." It scared me how she knew exactly what was on my mind.

"I just wasn't thinking much about it, I knew that it was coming up though." Of course I knew that it was coming up everyone had a birthday coming up. One thing that I could never do was admit that I was wrong to my therapist, bad habit, I know.

"Well, how are you going to cope while on your vacation with your ex?" She clicked her pen, "Cope? It's just her birthday not like she's dying again..." My voice hushed.

"It's her birthday, you're gonna be sad Ivory, trust me." She held her hand up as she spoke directly to me.

I remember the first time that I had came in, it was a little after my mom's death. I was so uncomfortable with all of the eye contact I think it took me about two months to actually get used to it, guess I wasn't good with communicating.

"Also he's not my ex." I rolled my eyes as she smirked, "Whatever you want to call him." she winked.

She had a warm homely vibe to her, a middle aged mom vibe that I enjoyed sharing company with.

"Well our time is coming to an end," She stared off at the clock, "I guess that means that i'll see you in two and a half weeks."

"Yup, guess so." I took in a breath as I adjusted myself to stand up, "Have a nice trip, don't make any bad decisions." She pointed at me with her eyes squinted making me laugh.

"I won't." Was I telling the truth? Maybe, maybe not. I wasn't sure how I would be able to contain myself around Scott, our last moments had been so intimate and I missed his comfort.

I stepped out of the office, heading to my white 2017 Toyota Camry. It wasn't anything fancy but I loved this car, the memories that it held was something that I could never sell.

At home I was greeted by Amelia who waited upon my doorstep, "Finally! I was calling you over and over why didn't you answer?" She ran over to me as I walked towards her.

"What?" I slipped my phone out of my pocket, "No calls, babe." I turned my screen over to her.

"Ugh!" She groaned, "Stupid Ethan probably didn't pay the bill, it was his turn this month." she rolled her eyes.

My key clicked into the door, "Speaking of," I grunted as I pushed open the door, "I need to speak with him." I held a finger up as she followed behind me.