𝙈𝙍. 𝙉𝙄𝘾𝙀𝙂𝙐𝙔

LOSE ME

If I had known that me and Scott would have kept this sex thing up, I would have really thought about all of the feelings to come.

I don't know if it was just because of stress, but i'm pretty sure that this was affecting me mentally, and it was hitting hard.

Maybe it was because I had been having sex with someone that had absolutely no interest in me, and I knew this because Scott would do just about anything in bed but will never make eye contact.

He knew it was too intimate and that he was saying something when he looked into my eyes, and I knew that. However that didn't stop me from feeling a little upset, partly because I had grown a strong liking for Scott and found myself wanting to just hangout regularly, where as for Scott he would just fuck and dip, only talking to me when it was me, Ari, and him.

I knew this would never be anything more than just casual sex yet I continued to let myself be lead on, as sex with Scott was like forgetting everything happening in real time. It was dangerous how affecting he could really be.

I had never had a perfect relationship, well not even a good one. Manipulation and abuse, God could they be any more original? I had only been in two yet I was fearful to even be in one, could I even be loved? The words of my last had really taken a toll on my mental health and security, and the one before only left me wishing that I could never love anymore because it seemed like no matter how good I treated him, he would always find a way to make me feel like the bad person.

So how could I really even think that I liked Scott, I couldn't right?

I was broken away from my thoughts at a rather loud cough, snapping my head towards the noise.

No one had been in the hospital room but me, my mind instantly going towards a doctor that might've snuck in without me noticing, but it was far more than that.

I stared in shock, my mother who laid in front of me was now staring back at me.

I didn't know what I was feeling, "Vee?" until I heard that hoarse voice, putting me back through all of my trauma that I had ever endured from that woman.

Her nickname for me almost made me gag, my skin crawl. I was now questioning why I had even came.

She looked pale, like she was dead already and God I really wished she was, I know it's a horrid thing to wish but I meant it.

Her eye bags almost hanging down her face as she blinked, "You're really here." she put on a sincere act.

My blood boiled, not prepared for what to say when she had awoken.

"Don't even act like that, Sammy." Too ashamed to call her my mom, I was being pretty harsh but it couldn't even amount to what she had done to me.

"Babygirl..." She tried to push herself up, instantly falling back into the pillow behind her as she was put into a coughing fit, her liver not being able to handle any movement.

I scoffed, "I'm gonna go." I picked up my belongings, "Ivory." she coughed out as I reached the door.

I turned around, "What?" I sighed.

"I'm sorry." she had a look of sorrow, making me frown, "Oh yeah? For which time?" I held myself together waiting for her response.