There are tiny fears I have
Due to anxiety,
I have lived my life beside
But one of my greatest fears,
that keeps me up at night
That made a home in my bones
Is my own heart
The self-sacrifice fool
The martyr
The soldier of tenderness
I fear that one day
I fall asleep crying once again
I wake to find my heart sitting on the edge of my bed
Looking out at the sky
Begging to be used
Begging to be torn apart in the name of compassion
Begging to do good even if that is my last action
As you can imagine it's terrifying
To know my own heart begs for that
And that
I know that I would do it over and over again
Let them step all over me
Let them turn me into an emotional punching bag
Let them tear me apart, and put me down
To let them be put back together
To lift them up and into happiness
I've never wanted nor needed a reason to do all of this
Never needed an excuse
To sacrifice myself for love
I martyr myself for all that is soft
I'd bleed for anything that asked
For anything that would say all the right things
And I confess
I have
I already have
