It's a weird feeling to be loved
When you cannot even love yourself
When you cannot even look in the mirror
When you hear someone list things that they adore
Write poems
Write the most elaborate compliments
About how they see you
When you look in the mirror
The monster looking back whispers
And says things that makes you not eat for one day
Then 2 days
Then...
You get it
Things that make you change every bit of yourself
Change you clothes
Be quieter
Take up less space
Ask and want for not
It doesn't matter how much space they say
You are beautiful
You are wonderfully made
You are....
Their voice never fully penetrates the fears
Will still compare yourself against anyone
and
everyone you meet
No matter how much the words are repeated
You will worry about whether or not your a running joke with friends
You'll have days where they almost capture you
Their words almost ring true
Then days where I can't even heard them
You see it's a weird
Being loved when you can't love yourself
The person they describe seems foreign to you
