If I didn't care I wouldn't write
Spend countless hours scrolling
Trying to find the words to describe how I feel
I would read and listen to every word
Seeing if there is one out there that describes you
And my affection towards you
You see
You were my everything
But those around me tell me to describe you
Describe you so they might understand why I am the way that I am
Stuck between a limbo
Wanting to run into your arms
While also fleeing
Because you are two opposites wrapped up with a bow
You are seemingly kind and compassionate
Whilst being manipulative and cruel
Violent and angry
But
Gentle and joyful
Truthful and holy
Yet
A liar and a thief
Distant and unwilling to listen
Also
Romantic and considerate
You are truly everything
Everything I could want
Everything I want to run from
My home and refuge
My prison
I have yet to find the words that fully encapsulate what you are to me,
How I feel,
And why I can't let go
Maybe once I do
I can get over you
Maybe
Possibly
One day
For you blurred the line between love and hate
Anger and joy
Safe and danger
Alone and together
