I think I could have loved you
If only I knew what that meant
You see Merriam Webster describes love as " affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests"
On paper I know what this is
From the
amount I read
To the
Hours spent watching movies
You'd think I'd grasp what it means
That it means accepting each other flaws and seeing the whole image
It's about mutual growth
And trust
But how to love another
When you don't have the essential qualities for it
I don't have a heart
Well, I guess that is untrue
I have one
It's just not in one piece
And maybe that's the problem
Or maybe it's my head
My brain
Or more accurately my psyche
One that isn't fully developed
Extremely impressionable
One forged in "tough love"
One that witnessed what "love" does to others
How when taken away a person crumbles
One that experienced the way that they love was too much
Or not enough
But always never right
I see love and being loved as things
Other people can experience
Other people deserve
Other people are perfect
And I'm deformed
Unworthy of love
Trust
Acceptance
So again I ask how to love another
When you don't have the essential qualities for it
When you aren't able to understand or accept love
