I know you think I don't love you
Or
That I moved on
But it what you don't see
Is
Me crying myself to sleep every night
Rereading our messages over and over again
Typing out things I want to tell you but never sending them
Not taking a shower for 2 weeks because I wanted your touch to stay on me
Defending you to my friends
Taking you off my close friends so I can rant about how unhappy I feel
Without you feeling guilty
Replaying those nights in my car
Over
And over
Again
Wishing I held you closer
Wishing I hadn't had to go back to my house
Because you were my home
Not letting myself grieve for 2 weeks after we broke up
Because I knew it'd be debilitating
And it was
I cried for hours
Sobbed in the shower
Trying to hold myself the way you held me
The marks you left are gone
I have nothing to hold onto that is yours anymore
Not even my heart
I'll never tell you these things
Because I know it'll hurt you
But I just need to get them out
Before they consume me
Before I combust
I just want to say "I love you"
One
More
Time
