Lucy (Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

I was slightly woken up when Daryl finally came into the tent, but I didn't move. Just by the way he was breathing, I could tell he was still upset. I wanted to comfort him. I would do anything to take his pain away, even if that meant I had to take it on myself. I had a feeling that before the world went to shit, Daryl had already endured more pain in his life than most. He didn't talk about his life before and I didn't dare ask, it wasn't any of my business.

Even with the subject of his brother, he didn't bring it up but I knew that pain was also still fresh. The few things that had been said about Merle around the camp told me all that I needed to know, he wasn't a good guy but he was still Daryl's brother. I couldn't even imagine losing Grayson, it would completely break me.

Slowly, he laid down next to me, his arm snaking around my waist, pulling me closer to him. When I was in his arms, I felt nothing but safe. Like this is where I'm meant to be. He felt like home. I hoped he felt the same way, I was too much of a coward to confirm.

I continued to fake sleep and thought that he'd be asleep soon, but I was wrong. I felt his eyes on my face, like he was studying me, but I didn't dare open my eyes. I couldn't tell if he knew I was actually awake or not. Maybe he was waiting for me to open my eyes.

I felt him leaning closer to me, I tried my best to keep breathing normally like a sleeping person. The next thing I knew, his lips were on my forehead. A light but simple kiss made my heart start to race.

"Thanks Luce," he whispered softly after he pulled away. He laid back down next to me, his arm tightening its grip around my waist as if I wouldn't be there when he woke up in the morning. That's when it dawned on me, he was afraid of losing me. I never gave it much thought but with the people he has lost recently it made sense.

He cares for me, worries about me, exactly the same way I was thinking about him. I wish I could just tell him but that would make it real, I cannot let these feelings turn into love. The minute I let my guard down and try to be happy, something will go wrong. Dread was creeping into my soul and it wouldn't let go of it's hold on me. I cannot love him with the chance of losing him to this new world, I already feel like I'm in too deep and sometimes it's hard to breathe.

I will not let myself be vulnerable like that. Ever. Something is going to have to change before it's too late.. but can I really do that to Daryl? I don't know what to do or how to handle all of these different emotions. All I do know is that Grayson comes first, no matter what I have to keep him alive, even if that means letting go.