i know the end ,, harry potter

chapter thirty-four

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

IT WAS FIVE WEEKS into break. harry wasn't lying when he said he'd write her every week. the fifth one had just come in mere moments before, alyra took it from hedwig before putting it into a box with the rest of the unopened and unread letters harry had sent her. she hadn't written a single one.

venus snuggled up next to the blonde as she got back into her bed, she had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a mess. she hadn't been taking proper care of herself at all. the dark lord, voldemort, he was living in her house.

alyra was usually happy to be home, as she loved her mother a great amount and enjoyed spending breaks with her, but this year was different. the manor was colder. she hated being at home this year. she missed harry. but she was also pushing him away by accident. she hadn't written him back. he'd written her five times now, her responding with nothing. silence on her end.

she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed most days. most nights, draco found himself getting into bed with his twin to try and comfort her. he could tell she was struggling badly, everyone could tell.

"hi sunshine." she turned around to see her mother standing in the doorway, an attempt at a reassuring smile on the woman's face

"hi." alyra replied, her voice was quite cold and quiet, little to no emotion in it

"how are you doing?" narcissa came into the room, and sat on her daughters bed, looking at her with a worried expression

"i don't know.." alyra answered honestly, "i don't wanna be here."

"i don't want you and draco here either, not while he's here in the manor." narcissas voice was quiet as she looked at her daughter, venus snuggling into the blondes arms, "i'm so sorry baby."

"it doesn't feel like home anymore." alyra told her, tears in her eyes, "do i have to become a death eater like father?" her voice broke, it was soft, and quiet, and sad. and scared.

"no, baby, no you don't. i won't allow that to happen to you." narcissa told her, her heart broke at the sight of her daughter, "i'll try as hard as i can to protect you and your brother from that. i want you to live a life i never got to. i want you to be happy sweet girl."

"okay." alyra replied, sitting up and hugging her mom, "i love you, thank you."

"i love you more sunshine." narcissa replied, hugging the small blonde back, "i will do everything in my power to protect you. i promise you that."

"okay."

______

ANOTHER WEEK PASSED, no letter came from harry, he seemed to have finally given up on her. he'd given up trying to get through to her.

the box on the other side of her bedroom that held the letters mocked her. she looked at it with a look in her eyes, she wanted to open them, desperately wanted to open them. but she couldn't. she'd feel guilty if she read what harry had written.

dumbledore told them not to let go of each other. harry said he'd never let go of her. harry told her he loved her. she wanted to say it back. she couldn't say it back. she felt the same way. couldn't say the words. she shut him out, like she does with everybody. she shut him out and wanted to let him back in. she didn't know how. she felt guilty, she felt at fault. it was her fault. her emotions got the better of her. she missed him.

she forced herself out of bed, rubbing her temple in attempts to minimize the headache pounding at her skull, it didn't work. she reached into the box, biting her bottom lip nervously as she pulled the stack of five letters out of it.