What If? Year 2

Chapter 48

Tear run down my face as I finally get to the portrait hole.
"Hello, dearie," the Fat Lady says, "oh, Merlin, is something wrong?" I shake my head and whimper the password. The door opens and I walk in wiping at my eyes. Thankfully no one is there to see me sob.
There it is... everyone thinks it. I should just stay up here. It would be better for everyone. No one will have to escort you around... you won't be in the way... no one will have to walk around you like your fragile, like you can't handle anything. Maybe I should just go home. Then I can't worry anyone.
I pick up a quill and start to write. I work to write out my thoughts, tears blurring the ink. I start to calm down, as my thoughts just flow out in ink and tears. I stare at the mess of ink and water before tossing it into the bin. I lay down in my bed and curl into my side.

I wake up the next morning, hunger aches in my stomach. I roll over and see all my friends curled up in their beds. I sit up and sigh. I look over to my desk and notice a piece of paper on it. I get up, letting my robes fall down to the floor. I scan over the paper and the first line fills my stomach with nausea.
No one wants me here.
It was smeared, but that's what it says.
Everyone's seen it... and they didn't wake you up. They must also think this.
I grab the paper and tear it up. I feel panic rise in my chest, just like it did yesterday. I shake my head, hoping that it would just go away. But, of course, it is not that easy. I grab a clean uniform and change into it hastily. I grab my bag and rush down to the common room. Hermione is laying on the table, books splayed out in front of her. I sigh and kneel down by her.
"H-hermione?" I ask, praying that my voice is not shaking, "Hey, you should go up to your dorm." She barely stirs, but nods to me.
"I got it all done," she whispers, "all my homework is done... and I checked the boys essays."
"And you get to go to bed."
"Why are you up?"
"I like getting up early... You still have two hours to sleep. I thought you might want to do it in your room." She nods.
"But my books..."
"I'll clean them up and put them all in your bag for today." She smiles to me and nods before going upstairs. I make quick work of organizing her stuff and putting it away. It calms me down some, the way each thing has it place making my heart slow. I pause at the portrait whole, knowing full well that I am not supposed to walk around alone.
But you need to be alone...
I open the door slowly, peaking out. No one. I sigh and walk out to the hallway. I think better of it and turn back into the common room. I sigh and sink down in the corner of the room. My deer falls out of my bag. I did not even realize that it was there. I pick it up and set it into my lap. The weight calms me some, but not enough. I lay down and set it on my chest.
In and out... in and out... in and out... My muscles untense some and I run my fingers through my hair.
You're okay... everything is okay. I sit up and take a deep breath. I hear a voice outside talking to the Fat Lady. I move closer to the portrait hole and listen closely.
"I cannot let you in unless you know the password," she tells the person.
"But... somethings wrong!" a familiar voice replies.
"How do you know?"
"I... See look! The silver and purple means she's anxious and stressed! Please, let me see her!"
Cedric! I get up, deer in hand and throw open the door.
"Cedric!" I shout, hugging him, "Thank Merlin you're here."
"Are you alright?"
"I am now." He smiles and tightens his grip around me.
"Wanna go do something?"
"Sure! I've gotta grab my stuff, one second." I run in and grab my bag before walking back to him. His hand is held out for me and I take it as soon as I can.
"Are you sure you're alright?" I look up to him, moving closer to him.
"Of course, why do you ask?" Cedric pulls out his necklace.
"Well, right now, it's mostly yellow and pink, but you see that silver streak? It's growing, probably because I'm talking to you about it. Before I came to check on you it was all silver and purple."
"I... I totally forgot about the necklace." I pull mine out and stare at the almost solid pink with a swirl of yellow. Cedric's cheeks start to match the necklace and I smile.
"So... what's up?" He pulls back the tapestry that I did not even notice we walked to. I walk in and sit on the floor.
"I... I'm not sure. I think I've been around people to much. I can't have alone time anymore because there's a chance of getting attacked. I've just been so stressed and snippy lately. I don't know what to do." I wipe at a tear as he sits down next to me.
"Hey, it's alright," he says, pulling me closer to him, "you've only got two weeks until you get to go home. I don't know how to get you more alone time. I don't want you to get hurt. You could sit in your dorm, but there is always a chance of getting walked in on. You could sit in here, I guess, and I could sit outside."
"You don't bother me... I feel like I just need to sit in silence." Cedric nods and brushes through my hair with his fingers. I take a deep breath and set my head on his shoulder. We sit there, in wonderful silence, just taking in each others presence.