Gangsters paradise

Page 13

June 17 2004

Can you believe that Marshall wants to be together with me? I can't believe it either. I'm so confused right now because I don't if I can or should trust him. I don't know how this entire relationship will go. And I don't want to be with him just because he wants to have me in his label or just because of sex.
I'm still in this hospital, but when I get home and when I feel better I'll talk to him. I need to know what's on his mind. I really need to know if this is gonna be something serious or just something to fuck around with. This is my last night at the hospital. I can't say that I feel better but I also don't want to stay here. My family and Marshall comes to see me every day. Why are they not on tour? I don't know, I think d12 is thanking a little break from all this touring and the girls doesn't want to go on tour without me.
My father told me that he won't rest in peace until he doesn't find out who shot me.
I actually wanna know as well, but there is only one person that I got in my mind. And that Suge Knight. Wait until I get better, I won't rest in peace until I don't get rid of that peace of shit.
"Hey.." Marshall came in my room
"Hey.."
He leaned down at me to kiss me.
"How you feel?"
"I'm alright, how are you?" I asked him
"I drive myself crazy because I can't sleep in the same bed with you."
"That will happen one day.."
"Nah, that will happen exactly after you leave this hospital. I talked to your father and he said you can come with me to Detroit."
"You crazy right?"
"After you, yeah.."
"Marshall, I don't wanna be rude. But i can't just come to your house like that."
"Your my girl. Of course you'll come to my house."
Oh god, I should just tell him.
"So your not fucking with me around? I'm really your girlfriend?"
"So you think I talk bullshit when I told you that I want you?"
"I didn't say that you talked bullshit. I just wanna know if this is something serious or just something that you'll get bored of once you don't get what you need. Because if is like that then I don't want to be around you or to be with you at all."
"I don't either know what this is. All I know is that I can't fucking get you out of my head. I want to be near you, I wanna kiss you. Fuck the shit out of you. I can't get enough of you."
"Well until you figure it out what this really is then you can call me your girl. Until then I mind my own business and you your own."
"Why the fuck did you even said that you want this?"
"I said it because I also like you. But I want something serious. And if you can't give me that serious relationship then I don't want you."
"Bitch.." he stood up and left
What? I had to say it. If he want to fuck around then he's free to do whatever he wants to do. Because I don't wanna fuck around with him. He's the big Eminem, he can fuck and get any bitch he wants. He either wants something serious with me. Or he stays the fuck away from me.
Later that day
"Why would you even tell him that I can go with him to Detroit?"
"Mija, aren't you in love with this men?" My father said
"I don't know. He either doesn't know. I don't want to be around him until he doesn't what he really wants."
"As I talked to him it seems pretty clear what he wants. And I'm sure he just says that because you acting all confuse."
"Why are you thanking his side? Why is he thanking his side?" I turn my head to my brother
"Because we can see that he likes you a lot. And your the one that doesn't know what you want. Maybe the poor man knows what he wants from you but you get him all confused." Spooky said
"I just told him that I want something serious and not something that he can fuck around with. Where the fuck is that confusing?" I asked
"Ay mija, you want something serious? Then let him show you that."
"Yeah, I rather don't think he'll do all that."
"And you need to sign that contract with him." My father said
"I ain't signing shit. I won't be in his label if I'm gonna date him."
"You so fucking complicated. How the fuck does he even pull up with your attitude." My brother said
I don't have a attitude. I just don't think this is a good idea for me to sign up with him and then date him.
"Tomorrow we'll pick you up." My father said
"K.. thank you." I said
"And fucking call him. Make your self clear." Spooky said
"I did myself clear. He's the one that needs to find out what he really wants from me. Now fuck off spooky." I said
"Stop fighting children."
"She's so fucking stubborn. Fuck you Tyla." Spooky leaved the room
"You don't have to call him. But be nice. You can be a real mean person when you want. This man and his friends stood by you everyday since you got shot. If you don't want him. Fine tell him but be nice."
"Are you saying I'm not a nice person?"
"You are a unbelievable nice person. But sometimes.. you know.."
"I'm a very nice person. In fact I'm the most nicest person in our family."
"You'll never change.. just like your mother. Same temper." My father stood up and kissed my forehead.
Why is everyone thanking his side? Im the one that wants something serious. He doesn't even know what he actually wants.