Gangsters paradise

Page 21

June 25 2004

Yesterday night Marshall stopped me from going to a hotel. I don't know why he did that but I don't feel good being in his house. Right now I just wanna be at my grandmas house but she didn't called me yet.
I was still in my room I don't really want to talk or see Marshall. I just wanna be alone. I'm writing my new song and I'm watching my favorite series. So until now i feel really good.
I don't know why lately I feel so bad. I'm just really tired and not in the mood to do anything or to be around people.
I feel something bad is going to happy and I have no power to control it.
I'm really scared that something is going to happen to my family and that's most of it because of me.
May god protect my family and everything to be fine. Amen
Well back to the song I'm writing. I actually have a couple of things in my mind but this one it's a little crazy. This is the first when I do this kind of songs but honestly I don't care. I named the song after Marshall. Rude boy, that's the name.
Why that name? Well, Marshall is a rude boy but he's fucking sexy. I'll not say no to him if he'll want to fuck me every minute or second. But hey, I need to stay cold. I can't get attached to him remember?
So this song I'm gonna work on it when Marshall is not around. I hope he's gonna meet out with the boys and I can be home alone. I don't want him to listen to this song until it's not out on the radio.
The others songs that I have in my mind it's more like love songs and all this depressing stuff that I'm not sure if I'll do something with it.
Now I just wanna drink something but I don't want Marshall to see me. I really don't wanna face him right now.
I opened the door and I saw his door is still close. If he'll be awake he's door will be open. So I slowly walked out of my room and went downstairs.
I went into the room where he keeps all of the wine and took two bottles of red wine.
I took a glass and went fast as possible back to my room.
Pff.. I almost can't breathe anymore.
You know, every time when I try to not make any noise I hold my breath because I think my breath is making noises.
I'm a fucking weirdo, I know.
I opened the bottle trying to not make any noise and started to finally enjoy this day.
Studio
I'm in my little studio downstairs, Tyla is still sleeping I think she didn't came out of her room since yesterday night.
I know what Kim told her yesterday made her angry and that's why she wanted to leave. But I don't want her to leave. Honestly I think I'm falling for this girl more and more. The way she talked to my girls and the way she cared about what they gonna eat. I really like her but she just doesn't want me.
I don't fucking know why the fuck she's so cold to me.
I know I fucked up, that's what I always do. But that doesn't mean that I wasn't thinking about her or that I didn't missed her and her beautiful body and her soft lips. Every fucking day I think about the sex we had and the way she fucking loved to be close to me.
I don't even know man. I just meet this girls, it's not like I know her since years. And I can't already not think straight if she's not around. The fuck is she doing with me I really don't know. All I know is that I want her and I need her.
I should maybe just buy her flowers and do a beautiful dinner for her. And maybe trying to know things about her if she's gonna open up to me. It could do that it will be amazing.
The only problem is, if I go outside paparazzi are after me. Yesterday I saw the pictures they took of me and Tyla when we were out with the girls. They think we're dating or something like that. Honestly I don't mind if people thinks that we're dating the only problem is that they took pictures of my girls. And I don't like that, I don't want my children to be involved in all of this famous bullshit.
I'll just call Paul to help me. I want to make a beautiful dinner for her.
But first I gotta check on her. I'm sure she's still in her room but why? Only god knows.
Room
Well I'm not drunk but almost. I feel a little better then before. My head just hurts a little and I don't know what to write anymore.
Agh.. you know being a fucking singer is fucking hard. You need to write things down. You gotta memorize them and all this other stuff. Pfff I'll take a bath fuck this work I'll do tomorrow.
I should stop drinking so much but it's not easy. I know I have a big problem, I drink every day any time. It's fucking 3pm and I'm drinking.
God, I hate myself so much.
I let the water on and took of my clothes.
I turned the lights a little lower because my fucking eyes hurts is too much light in here.
And I got in the water.
"So good.." I said
I knocked on her door but she didn't respond.
I don't fucking know why she's not coming out of her room but I don't care I'm just gonna go in there.
As I opened the door.. she's fucking drinking again.
Oh god Tyla.
But what is she writing here?
Rude boy? Who the fuck is rude? And who is she mentions that song to?
"Tyla?" I called her name
"Ba.. bathroom."
"What.. what are you doing here?"
"I'm.. I'm taking a bath.. what are you doing here?" She asked
"You didn't came out of your room since yesterday night Ty. Is everything alright?"
"Yep, sit down."
"What's wrong? Tell me?"
"I just don't feel good. I feel all empty you know."
"Then stop drinking."
"Agh.. you know your really annoying when your being so bossy over me."
"I just don't want you to drink it's not good for you."
"Says the one that takes drugs."
"Yo! You don't know shit."
"Funny Marshall.. really funny." She stood up and got out of the bath
Fuck she looks so fucking hot right now.
Fucking hell.
"You should get sober too. You know, you have to daughters. You can't be a drug addict." She said
"Why the fuck are you talking about me now? It's none of your fucking business what I'm doing."
"Then don't fucking tell me to not drink when you also have no idea why I'm drinking."
"You so fucking stupid Tyla. You so fucking stupid."
"Fuck you Marshall. The only one who's stupid here is you! You have to beautiful daughters. You rap about your mother being a creak head but your also doing the same shit."
"Yo! You better shut the fuck up bitch. You have no idea what your saying right now."
"I have no idea? Or your just way to on drugs to actually really think about what you actually saying huh?"
"Imma fuck you up. SHUT UP BITCH."
"Don't fucking touch me asshole."
"SHUT UP I SAID."
"Marshall your fucking hurting me."
"That's what you deserve." I threw her on the bed and opened her legs.
"Marshall.."
"Is this why your so fucking cold to me? Huh? You just horny say that. You just want me to fuck you that why you act like this."
"Mar.."
"I fucking hate you but at the same time I wanna fuck the shit out of you and not let go of you until I die. Fucking whore." I took out my dick and started to suck her breast
"Oh fuck.."
"You like this huh?"
"Yess."
I rubbed her clit really fast and then I pushed my dick inside of her.
"Fuckk.." I moaned
"Mhh.. he's so fucking big.."
"Shut up. Your only gonna talk when I say so."
She just nodded and rolled her eyes when I started to fuck her
"Such a beautiful slut. I can't fucking get enough of you." I pushed my dick harder in her
"Oh.. fuck me harder." She said
"You want harder huh.. fucking bitch."
I turned her around and grabbed her waist, I pushed my dick inside of her and fucked her from behind.
Fucking hell she's so fucking tight. God I love her pussy so much.