Start Again | Forbidden Book 2

14. Unspoken Words

Olivia was feeling slightly overwhelmed with Charles' recent bomb drop of complaints. He had been so outraged, and Liv had never seen him like that at all. Not even in Japan after the whole tractor incident. She needed someone's opinion on the matter, an unbiased opinion, and she knew exactly who was the perfect person for that. 

After waking up from her nap, while Max was still asleep she tried getting up from the couch without waking him up, moving slowly and carefully. Max stirred slightly as she left the couch but didn't wake up, Olivia got her things and left the apartment. She texted him letting him know she would be back shortly, just so he would see it once he woke up. Then she walked over to Lewis' apartment.

Lewis lived only a few minutes away. Security recognized Liv and let her up, she knocked on Lewis' door and it took a while for anybody to answer but suddenly the door opened and a confused Lewis appeared. "Liv? What are you doing here?" he asked.

Liv walked right in. "I'm sorry Lew but I need your total honest opinion about something" and Liv went on to tell him about what had happened with Charles, the shock and his disgust for her relationship with Max, the anger, and her unstoppable crying too. 

Lewis listened with a pained face as they both stood by the entrance of his apartment. "Am I being dense like Charles said? Lewis I need to know if I'm making a mistake and I just can't see it" said Olivia pleadingly. Lewis looked at her face, with her eyes slightly swollen surely from crying so much.

He was torn. On one hand he wanted to support her and be there for her while she lived a happy life with Max. Hopefully with no more unnecessary pain. On the other hand, he wanted to tell her what he truly felt. That Max didn't deserve her. That he already had and would hurt her again, he was sure of it. That she shouldn't be with Max, she should be with him. He would never lie to her and he would always be there for her. Then Olivia spoke again. 

"I don't want to lose Charles' friendship" she said with a truly agonized look on her face "How can we just keep being friends if he can't stand Max? Or me being with Max? I can't! I can't start losing my friends because they hate my boyfriend! Am I being an idiot? What should I do?" she added clearly distressed.

Seeing her in so much pain, Lewis picked a side immediately. He was not losing Liv, and if it meant sticking around as her friend then he would do that for her. "Olivia stop thinking about what everybody else thinks for a second. What do you want? Not what Max wants, or Checo, or Charles. What do you want to do? Do you want to forgive Max, move in with him and raise this kid with him? Or, do you want to start over, leave Max behind and have this baby by yourself? I can assure you you'll never be alone if you decide to do that, we would never leave you. I'm always going to be there. But you have to stop thinking about what everybody else wants and just think about yourself for a second. What do you want to do? Despite everyone else".

Olivia stood there feeling slightly taken aback. She stood in silence as she processed everything, it was no easy answer. She loved Max, that much was obvious. She missed him when he was gone, he made her heart feel full, and she was sure he loved her and their baby too. She was positive he would be a great father and she hoped he had learned from his past mistakes in order to never make them again. 

That was the thing, she could only hope he wouldn't hurt her again. Although she certainly hadn't expected it to happen last time, it came out of nowhere. Which really showed her that as much as she believed to know him completely and trust him completely, as much as he surely loved her, he could still hurt her and she wouldn't see it coming. It was terrifying. 

So her options were actually resumed to two ideas: she could either face her fears and dive into her relationship with her eyes closed. Trusting Max completely even though she might get hurt. Or she could allow her fears to take over, and leave behind the person she loved more than anything, in order to protect herself from possible further pain.