Start Again | Forbidden Book 2

30. Haunted

"I'm not going" said Olivia decidedly as she unpacked the suitcase she had been packing for the last few minutes on Tuesday morning. 

"Okay love" nodded Max as he packed his clothes into his own suitcase. 

"No, I have to go" she said placing the clothes back in. 

"Alright" said Max calmly. 

She stood there looking at her open suitcase "No I won't, I don't care, let them fire me" she said taking the clothes back out. 

"You could come back to Red Bull" said Max with a small smile.

"But I would still have to go to Barcelona every year" she said looking at Max.

Barcelona. For the rest of the world, the pinnacle of modernist Gaudi architecture, a beautiful city filled with colors, irregular and organic shapes, and delicious food. For Olivia, a haunted city. She had promised herself not so long ago that she would never step a foot back in that place. Now the Spanish Grand Prix was here, and it was part of her job to be there. 

But every time she was there she would lose a chunk of herself. First with the assault, then her baby. She couldn't lose anyone else, she would never survive it. 

She held on tightly to one of her shirts in her hands and stared hesitantly back to the suitcase. Relieving the moments that would haunt her for the rest of her life. 

"Whatever you decide is okay love, no one is going to blame you for it" Max assured her. 

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Olivia tapped her fingers incessantly on the armrest of her seat on the plane. She looked out the window, it was Wednesday morning and they would be landing in Barcelona very soon. 

"Liv, stop that" said Checo annoyed by her constant tapping fingers.

She turned to look at Checo as Max reached out with his hand and held hers, trying to ease her anxiety. 

She had decided to go to Barcelona. Although in that moment she couldn't quite remember why. Now it seemed like an awful idea again. Why the fuck did I come, she thought, oh right I'm supposed to face my fears or some shit. She sighed, damn, I should've let them fire me. 

Olivia spent every single day in Barcelona feeling tense. Every loud noise startled her, every time she got in a car her heart was racing, it was insufferable and she couldn't wait to leave and go back home.

She spent the rest of the week in a trance, going from the hotel to the paddock and back, not deviating for anything. 

"Hey Liv" said Carlos walking up to her at the paddock "We are all going out to dinner tonight, do you want to come?" he said happily. Carlos had been extra happy the entire week since it was his home race. 

"Uhm" Liv hesitated while looking at his excited face. She really didn't want to go, she had spent basically the entire week locked up in her room and it was woking for her. She was safe, nothing had happened to her, she hadn't lost anyone else. The race was the next day and right after the race they would be leaving back to Monaco. She just had to survive one more day, 24 hours, less even; then she could go far away from this haunted place. "I don't know Chili" she said hesitantly "I don't think so".

"Oh common Liv" said Carlos walking in front of her and turning to hold her shoulders so she would look straight at him. He had a slightly pleading look and his brown eyes were wide, while he still had a smile on his face "It's my home Grand Prix, we should enjoy it" he said "I want to give you a good experience here, like you did to me in Mexico".