„Dear Diary,
„Kenneth we need to talk." I stop him before he can get into the Great Hall in the morning.
His friends give him a wry look.
"Someone seems to be in trouble."
"Uhh trouble in paradise."
"Guys, stop that. We don't have any troubles. She just wants to talk. I see you later." Kenneth shakes his head and follows me outside onto the castle grounds. "What's up? I heard you were looking for me yesterday, but I couldn't seem to find you after the duel lessons."
"Yeah, well after what happened to that boy, I just wanted to be in my dorm room."
"Do you still worry about that?"
"Why shouldn't I? Kenneth, if you haven't realized, my kind is in danger. And what if that beast doesn't stop after he has all Muggleborns?"
"Calm down. Everything will turn out alright and they are just paralyzed not dead yet. Okay?" He takes my hands in his and pulls me close. I grimace a bit, as he tries to lean down to kiss me. Okay that boy does read the signs so wrongly, I can't ignore that anymore. I push him away. He looks at me startled.
"Not the time to kiss Towler."
His look falters. "Why- uhm why my last name all of a sudden? What is wrong Jade? Have I done something to upset you? I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday when you looked for me. If it is that? I was just hanging out with some friends of mine, since you were occupied."
"That's not it. Please, would you just be quiet and let me talk?"
He falls silent and fidgets with his fingers on the seam of his shirt. Oh Rowena, this will be harder than expected.
"I need to you to listen carefully please, because what I am going to say isn't easy for me. I like you Kenneth, a lot, but just not in the way you want me to like you. I really tried to be what you needed, but I am not it. You deserve someone better than me, someone who actually loves you."
It's silent. The wind blows our hair into our faces. He bites his lip absently.
"Jade, I like you too and what you say about yourself isn't true. You are what I need and you are good enough for me. Heck I love you and if that means I should give you more space and more time for you, I will do it. We can make this work. I am sorry if I made you feel insecure and pressured you, you aren't easy to read. You are-"
"Kenneth please stop this. You haven't listened. I cannot love you."
"You can." He steps a bit closer. "I know you can. I know we are young, but sometimes you just know when it feels right. Jade you and I we are-"
"Not another word. We are not meant to be. I am not the one for you and you are definitely not the one for me. I don't see a future in us. You deserve someone who actually loves you back, someone you don't have to fight for constantly. Someone who is yours." I stare at him. I can see the pain in his eyes, the way he is trying to hold onto something that never really was there. Something that was only there for him. A fantasy, he doesn't want to give up.
"Please Jade. Don't do this to me." His lips quiver a bit. My heart aches with every beat. "Just stay a bit longer and you will see this can work. I can change for you, I-"
"Kenneth, don't do this to yourself."
He grabs my hands again and I let him. He pulls me closer, he tries to kiss me again. His last cry for a way to change my mind. I need to stop this, he needs to accept a no. I have to tell the whole truth, even though I didn't want to do this to him.
"I cheated on you."
The boy stops. "W-what?"
I gulp. "I cheated on you, not just one time. My heart never belonged to you. I am sorry."
Kenneth lets go of my hands and he steps back. He lets out a huge breath and runs his hands through his hair. "Who is it?"
"That isn't important right now. Just, we need to break this up and you can't convince me otherwise."
"Weasley right?"
"What?" I look at him bewildered, though my heart beats faster.
He lets out a pity laugh. "Of course it has to be Weasley. Where did you do it? Let me guess, after he beat me up you thanked him profoundly for it?"
"Estás mal de la cabeza? What do you think of me?"
"You are not the girl I used to know."
"I was never the girl you believed to know."
Without another word he turned and left me standing in the cold. I can still feel his anger; my heart still beats fast. But it had to be done.
The rest of the day wasn't very amusing for me either. I could feel the look of Kenneth on me like a curse. Every time I met his face, he seemed to try and kill me with his looks. I don't want to know, what his friends now might think of me.
Fred seemed to have noticed, because since the first time in weeks, he seemed to be delighted when he looks at Towler. I hope that heartbreak was worth it.
The honesty was worth it. Though will Fred will be worth it?
Yours,
Jade.
YOU ARE READING
LILAC (Fred Weasley)
Fanfiction~He was red and I was blue and together we created a lilac sky~
