LILAC (Fred Weasley)

Chapter 63

„Dear Diary,

„Really? You are going to continue to give me the cold shoulder?" I throw my Teddy Bear at Gemma.

With a flick of her wand she closes the curtains around her bed. I scoff. Alright if she wants to act that way she can do that. I'm tempted to draw my curtains closed as well. Oh come on, that's so stupid. I grab my wand and jump up. Gina and Rose look at me wide eyed. I don't want to know how furious I have to look right now.

„Leviate!" Gemma's curtains rise above, she stares at me startled. „And now before you dare to even consider standing up, stay seated."

Gemma doesn't move. Gina stopped midway eating a dumpling. Rose holds back another cough and fails miserably. Can't they at least pretend to be busy?

I sit down next to my friend. I raise an eyebrow. „Now, would you like to dissolve what got your knickers in a twist? Because I need to know what I did specifically, so I can work on it. I know I did something to upset you, and not only you, and I want to settle it."

Gemma avoids looking into my eyes. Her fingers grab the blanket tightly. „I just don't get how you can so easily swap us out with someone else. How you can so easily forget about me, when I'm not needed to you."

„Gems, who said I would ever forget you? What do you mean?"

„Oh forget it."

„No. I'm not letting that one go. Tell me. Why do you believe that?"

„It's just- you are so self centered sometimes."

„Self centered?" These words almost dry up in my mouth.

Gemma looks at me, her hands pressed together, her knuckles already white. She bites on her lip.

„It's alright. Forget that I mentioned it."

She wants to stand up, but I hold her tightly in place.

„Don't you dare move now. Gemma, you can tell me everything, even if it might be something I don't want to hear. I'm not going to throw fists, okay?"

She still looks unsure. I press the matter further. „If it helps, I'll turn around, so you don't directly see my face?"

„Oh please no, that would be even weirder."

„Then you have to live with starring at my perfect face while completely shattering me. Gemma I was joking, stay seated please. Now tell me, why should I forget about you?"

„You- You always do that. It has to go your way, we have to do things like you would do them or you just bail on me and do them anyways. No matter if I would have needed you. Like yesterday, you wanted to go your own way, I'm not needed or too boring for that, so you just dropped me. I would have understood, if you really needed some space to you, as you said. But then I see you sitting with other randoms and having a blast. Do you know how it feels? I feel so swappable. I hate being alone in Hogsmeade and yet you left me without a second thought."

„But you weren't alone Gemma?"

„Wow my brother was with me. Great. Once Louis is with us, I feel useless, because they chatter and I'm just there. I miss our dynamic then. And they see it too."

„I'm so sorry Gemma. Really. I never intended to hurt you in any way. And I'm sorry you feel that way about my actions. I never realized I did that. For me it was just about being spontaneous and maybe meeting new people, it was never about abandoning you, let alone replace you. The next time I'll step over some of your boundaries or involuntarily hurt your feelings with ditching on something important to you, let me know please. For me it is hard to grasp what could be important to you, meanwhile my priorities lie differently. I'm sorry that my actions have caused you sorrow."