TIMESKIP!
We decided to spend some time in the mansion with some of the girls. NO, no... I'm upset too, it wasn't anything sexual, I know what you were thinking. I'm playing on the Xbox, impressing them with my "Blops 2" zombies skills.
If you know what I'm talking about, you can get nostalgic, if not, then it's okay, we're having fun playing videogames, that's all that matters. I'm doing the easter egg on Mob of the Dead, and we just spawned on the Golden Gate bridge... worst of all... I'm Weasel... who has to have a 1v1 with Akali, who's definitely going to lose.
First of all, she's clueless that I have more damage resistance, the zombies ignore me. Second, she's gonna see me as the "enemy", and be clueless as to what to do next. Finally, uh, good luck outrunning Brutus while you're getting gunned down by my Meat Grinder.
Y/N: Quick, revive yourself! Let's get out to PAP before the zombies get here!
Kali: Alright, so... what now? Why do you have a target above your head?
Eve: Oh no...
Y/N: WE MUST FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!
Kali: <FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK!!!>
She bolts as soon as I start shooting in her general direction. I can't laser her yet because that would just be mean.
Y/N: I have to end the cycle of hell! If you kill me, it loops again, and we'll be trapped!
Kali: NOOOOO!!! *Playful giggle*
Y/N: It's for the greater good!
She's murdering zombies behind the construction materials, but because there are so many, I can't get a clean shot at her. A pickup somehow drops, which ends up being a nuke, but shockingly it doesn't kill me. She pulls out the Acid Gat and tries to blast me, but it does jack, I still have yet to shoot her again.
If she had the normal version of the Blundergat, the Street Sweeper or whatever, I'd be toast, and only I would know this shit, because I played this way too much when I had zero friends in real life, but online I had many.
Kali: WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET?!
Eve: Because he's the main character, doll! You have to get crafty!
Kali: THE ZOMBIES IGNORE HIM!!! <This is so rigged!>
I'm just standing there, keeping my distance. I can end it instantly without the Meat Grinder, I have a PAP'ed Executioner, which is a shotgun revolver capable of one shotting every other character up close.
Kali: EAT SPORK-Awwww... damn...
She goes to stab me with the spork, and I just pop her once with the revolver and that knocks her instantly. She just melts back into the couch after that utter defeat.
Eve: Nah, Y/N wins.
Kali: Yup, rigged.
Y/N: Yeah, it's rigged because that's the canon ending, he kills all three mobsters and the cycle ends, that's the good ending. Now, does this remind you of the definition of insanity?
Kali: Okay, I'm not uncultured, Vaas! Far Cry 3 reminds me of what home was like when I was growing up...
Y/N: Oh, I forgot, you weren't a city scrub like I was.
Kali: Yeah...
Y/N: What parts... of Far Cry?
Kali: Just the tropical side of Ionia, with hand-built homes and such. I was taught how to use a kama, actually... it's more like Far Cry 4. I never killed pirates or played patty cake with my brother's neck after being shot. But... I have played incognito before; I did that a lot when I went to the city.
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Delightfully Devilish (K/DA Evelynn x Male Reader)
FanfictionSpecter, real name Y/N L/N, also known as Old Ghosty, or The Chameleon, or many other... shadowy names... was a former spy, special operations soldier, and elite hacker, part of PsyOps, (Psychological Operations), a military branch used only by the...
