𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙂𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙚 [E.Diaz]

Half Hearted

Half Hearted

MUSIC PLAYED FROM THE BLUE speaker, lying in the backyard lawn chair staring up at the sun with her glasses on. On the side table, her mug filled with frozen blue cocktail sat half drunk. She wore a black crop top and blue tie-dye shorts, an umbrella blocking the sun from her face. 

Josie half sang along to the lyrics of the song, it was early, she had the night shift and was doing everything to not think about her troubles. The last few days had been awkward for her going to work, looking at him made her feel everything she had been bottling up. 

A part of her felt anger and betrayal, remembering he had gone behind her back and lied about not fighting. He didn't even talk to her, shutting her out. He knew she didn't want him fighting yet he still did It, breaking her trust. 

The other half was her feelings towards him, she couldn't help but feel drawn back to him. Wanting to just talk with him about her day and tease each other, to be comforted and have the warm feeling he gave her. Being with him made her forget she even felt bad, now looking at him made her that pain she kept bottled away. 

"Why are you listening to this?!" A voice spoke up. Josie gasped in surprise sitting up and taking her glasses off. Alex crossed her arms over her chest. "Because I can." Josie responded. 

"You seem chipper." She comments. Josie shrugged her shoulders. "Why wouldn't I be? my life is good, I'm not being shot at and I'm drinking a frozen cocktail." She lists off. 

"Did you know we had these in the freezer? Who knew." Josie spoke fast. She crossed her legs looking up at the blonde. "And this is not about a certain brown-eyed man?" Alex questioned. 

"Nope! Not even thinking about him and how he shattered my heart into a couple of million pieces by lying to me." She rambled, smirking. Alex shook her head, taking a seat across from her. 

"You know denial is the first stage of grief, and doesn't just apply to loss." Alex reminds her, and her friend shakes her head. "And it's also a river in Egpyt, so hah." Josie snapped back. 

"Jo you can't keep everything bottled up, you have to at least acknowledge what you are feeling." She tells her, Josie's shoulders slumped back down. 

"I have and I realized." She takes a deep breath. 

"It was a stupid middle school crush, and I should have never tried to be anything else with him, Okay are you happy?" Josie asked her, shrugging half-heartedly. 

"You don't have to pretend it doesn't hurt," Alex reassured her. Josie's heart pounded, and her need to stick to her morals started to rage war with her feelings for the firefighter, it was tearing her up and she knew it, she shook her head. 

"Look if you arent here to join me in the sun go back inside." Josie tells her, pushing her glasses back on her face, "Or get another mug of those frozen cocktails and sit out here with me." Josie suggested smirking.