A budding writer's collection

The Mason Jar of Memories

Everyone has a mason jar of memories,

It's red beans mixed with a couple of greens, blues and pinks for some,

For others, it might just be blue with traces of the rest.

It's happy; It's sad; It's heart-breaking; It's heart-warming;

It embodies the beauty of the game of life.

My mason jar was filled with memories of you,

Seeing you seeing me, across the room

The intensity of it sent a quiver up my spine,

The excitement of it left me wanting more each time.

Every time our eyes met I felt like I knew you,

Not a word shared between us,

But a story waiting to be written by the longing of our stolen stares.

The first time we spoke,

The yearning to be with you despite the hurdles,

Not knowing what drew me to you,

Every crumb of our interaction driving me insane.

All because I loved love itself,

You were just symbolic of my love for love.

I thought you felt the same;

Thought the look in your eyes craved for the same feeling.

Thought we were after the same thing,

But I was just a distraction through the void filled with sadness for you, wasn't I?

I was just something good you could unload all your burdens upon.

I was just meant to understand you, while you barely tried to understand me.

It started as excuses,

Excuses that I made up for your absence.

Blaming myself for your indifference,

Searching every bit of me,

Hoping the lens would find some flaws.

But I was doing my best, wasn't I?

Doing my best to cage my fears,

Doing my best to pretend I cared for you,

Doing my best to suppress my anger,

Doing my best to forgive you

Every time you turned up with half-hearted apologies.

But you know what's the best I ever did?

Letting you go.

I expected a cavity in my heart,

Expected miseries and sorrow.

But I was relieved.

I could breathe finally.

I could fly,

Soar high and find my worth.

Not waste my time just to measure up to a handful of beans in your mason jar.