09| the heart to endure it

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The next morning after I'd brushed my teeth, read my bible, and had taken time to eat breakfast with my parents I went out of the house to water my roses to make sure they were not dying of hunger

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The next morning after I'd brushed my teeth, read my bible, and had taken time to eat breakfast with my parents I went out of the house to water my roses to make sure they were not dying of hunger. Right after I made sure that the flowers ok and blooming I couldn't help myself but look over to Holden's house to check if he was home or not. His truck was missing, but only his dad's truck was on the driveway. My mind automatically wondered where he had gone at ten in the morning. I decided it wasn't my business so I left my watering can on the grass and went back inside my house.

He hadn't yet messaged about yesterday.

I tried very hard not to feel bothered or hurt that he wouldn't care to mention he wouldn't be attending last night after he had agreed to attend but it was extremely hard to sustain these forbidden emotions. This was the hard thing about being a person who centered Christ in their lives. When moments like these or harder moments came clashing you didn't know how to deal with them but just pray on it.

"What are you up to?" Braylee asked through the phone as I went up stairs to hop on the shower.

"Nothing, just finished watering the roses, how about you?"

"Just woke up, but I'm going to drown some coffee, eat breaky, then feed my mind up with the word." In between "breaky" and "then" she yawned and groaned, and chatter sounded in the background. I cringed at the sharp sounds and removed an airpod from my ear to lessen the chaos in the other side of the phone. Something about Braylee when she woke up was that was clumsy to say the least. I knew that from the countless times we've had sleepovers.

"Too loud, Braylee."

"Sorry!" Now she sounded distant from the phone. We talked a little longer on the phone until we hung up and decided to call each other later on in the day. Gratefully she didn't ask about Holden reaching out but I couldn't guarantee she wouldn't be asking later or another day. Nothing ever went over her head. She was bound to ask.

"Heather?" I hear my mom's voice before I see her come through my doorway. "I'm heading out to do a few errands, would you like to join me? Your dad is out in the backyard mowing the lawn." she asked, standing with one hand on her hip. The usual mom stance.

"Yeah, I've just need-"

"Need to change? Yeah I know." she gave my outfit an overview that consisted of an oversized graphic shirt and way too big sweatpants before she raised her eyebrows judgmentally. That only made me want to wear the outfit all the more just to embarrass her. I knew how easily embarrassed she got over these little things.

I think because of her I always tend to get shy over the tiniest things.

"Now I'm wearing this." I said, dismissively grabbing my over shoulder bag and walking past her.

"Heather! You wouldn't dare embarrass me at the store wearing a shirt that says 'i love glazed donuts' and not to mention those duck slippers." she yelled and I only laughed, skipping down the stairs and refusing to remove any piece of clothing.

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