Double Take

Prologue

Prologue

I hate myself for getting used to things that I know I shouldn't tolerate. And for feeling the normalcy in it even though it fucking sucks to be in this kind of situation.

"Don't forget to take your medicine. And also, please note that you still have follow up check ups until next month." Ulit ni Mommy sa habilin din sa akin ng doktor kanina bago ako pinayagang makauwi.

Tumango ako habang hindi inaalis ang mga mata sa pinapanuod na palabas sa tv. It was a random sunday show. It's mid but I need to be busy so that Mommy would stop nagging me around. Kinapa ko ang bowl ang grapes na nasa kandungan ko para kumuha at sumubo kahit may laman pa naman ang bibig ko.

"Do you hear me, Benj?"

I lazily looked at my mother who's now packing her things just minutes after sending me home from the hospital. Mukhang babalik na naman siya sa bahay ng kabit niya. I wonder if my father knew when he himself was busy with his mistress too.

O baka naman alam na nila ang ginagawa ng isa't-isa at talagang masyado lang silang supportive sa baho ng bawat isa.

"Of course. Hindi naman ako nabingi, My." I forced myself to smile just so I could cover up the sarcasm that's already seeping through my skin.

"At papasok ka na sa school bukas. You're almost two months late on your lessons but I already contacted the school principal and your class adviser about it. Nothing to worry about."

I smirked. As if that would make me feel better.

Muli kong pinuno ng grapes ang bibig ko para hindi na ako makasagot pa at nang sa gano'n ay matapos na siya sa mga habilin niya sa akin.

"I also hired a tutor for you. Your final exam is coming near and you can't afford to fail again. Baka hindi ka na talaga makagraduate ng grade 12."

Natigil ako sa pagnguya. What did she say? Tutor? Bakit kailangan ko ng tutor? Bobo lang ang kailangan ng may tutor!

"What tutor?" I asked, instantly irritated.

Mommy gave me a wry smile. "You have failing grades, Benjamin, in case you are unaware. Do I still need to tell you what subjects?"

I harshly chewed the grapes in my mouth. Mommy raised a brow and crossed her arms. Nang hindi ako nagsalita ay nagpatuloy siya.

"Statistics and Probability, Physical Science, and—"

Napapikit ako. "That's enough."

She chuckled. "I am not judging you, son. I am well aware that you're not academically inclined. That's why having a tutor is a huge help. Lalo na kung gusto mo pang mag-aral ng college."

Hindi na ako nagsalita pa dahil nagsisimula na akong mairita. Nagpatuloy naman si Mommy sa kanyang homily na kahit papalabas na siya ng bahay ay parang armalite na tuloy-tuloy pa rin siya sa mga sinasabi. She even forgot to say goodbye to me. Siguro dahil alam niya namang alam ko na kung saan siya patutungo.

Inubos ko ang lamang grapes ng bowl bago ako nagpasyang umakyat sa kwarto. Hindi naman na bago sa akin 'to. Sanay naman na akong palaging mga kasambahay at 'yong driver lang ang kasama ko rito sa bahay. And maybe, it will stay that way for the rest of my life.

"Benj, pre! Welcome back!" Diego, one of my friends, shouted the moment I entered our classroom. Kaagad itong lumapit sa akin at pabirong yayakap sana pero umatras nang makita ang cast na nasa kaliwang braso ko.

"Akala namin next week ka pa, ah?" Si Eros, nagtataka. Nagawa pa nitong ayusin ang suot na salamin na para bang sinisiguradong hindi ako aparisyon lang.