Double Take

Chapter 18

Paint

Back then, I genuinely wanted to become Rael's friend for so many reasons. He's my tutor. He's smart. He's a model student. My friends like him and he's close with Jennifer. But right now, with me catching feelings for him, I don't think being one will ever be right and enough for me. Because if we became friends and I decide to draw the line later on, there's no assurance that I won't be the one who will cross it first---skipping happily.

My life's fucked, huh?

Walang balak umamin. Pero ayaw nang maging kaibigan. Saan ako nito lulugar? Sa kangkungan ba?

"Benj..." Rael's controlled voice soothed my ears.

Tinanggal ko ang pangangalumbaba ng kamay sa pisngi ko para makita at mabalingan siya ng maayos. The frown on his face made me sit up straight and completely ignore my lingering thoughts a while ago.

"Huh? What is it?" Alanganin kong tanong.

Pinaningkitan niya ako ng mga mata. Napalunok ako at mas napaayos ng pagkakaupo. The way his eyes bore holes to me screams intense curiosity for something. Matalino itong si Rael. Sigurado akong isang maling galaw ko lang, malalaman niya kaagad na may gusto ako sa kanya. The more I need to be careful if I don't want to get caught.

Pero, teka... bakit ba ako mag-iingat?

Kasi alam kong may gusto na siyang iba?

Sino nga ba kasi 'yon?

Maganda ba? Mabait? Matalino? Deserving ba?

"I told you to try and solve that equation. Not stare at it." Sermon niya sa akin sabay halukipkip. Sabado ngayon at nandito kami sa loob ng tree house nila para mag-aral na siyang normal naming ginagawa tuwing weekends.

Our exams are coming and I need to pass all of my subjects for me to be able to graduate senior high. And Rael as my tutor, will help me achieve that by making me study real hard.

"Bakit hindi mo ginagalaw? May hindi ka ba naintindihan?" His tone became softer as he moved to look at my paper. Umiling ako at tahimik nang nag solve para panatagin siya. And while I was doing it, I could feel him watching me closely. Kumunot ang noo ko at medyo naconcious sa sarili. Ano 'yan? Wala ba siyang tiwala sa akin?

"We only have a month to study before the finals." He uttered carefully while I was busy solving the math equation that he gave me. "That's why I really... need you to focus."

Tumango ako. "Alright."

He chuckled a bit. Tumigil ako sa ginagawa para tingnan siya. I caught him looking so amused but still trying to hide it by biting his lips. He shook his head at me when he realized that he was distracting me.

"Go on, don't mind me." he convinced me.

Damn, how could I even ignore him? Kaunting galaw at halakhak niya lang ay kuhang-kuha niya na ang buong atensiyon ko. Kahit yata mag-ala estatwa siya sa gilid ay mapapansin ko pa rin siya. That's his effect on me. He can always snatch my attention without any ounce of effort and I'm not sure if it's a good thing.

Mukhang... hindi yata, e.

Tahimik kong tinapos ang pinapasagutan niya sa akin. At ngayong sinusuri niya na ang sagot ko, pagkakataon ko naman para pagmasdan siya.

I'm really so damn curious...

Tumikhim ako ng kaunti at tinapangan ang loob.

"Let's make a deal, Rael." I offered like a businessman, my fingers tapping on the table.

I saw how the corner of his lips rose even though his eyes were glued to my paper. I sighed slowly as I watched his face closely. Tangina. Ang gandang lalaki nga talaga ng hayop na 'to.