shivian: a forbidden love 🖤🫶🏻

chapter 4: Autumn

Siobhans pov:

Last night was nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Roger was out most of the night, and when he came back, he just got straight into bed and went to sleep without saying a word to me or laying a finger on me.

This morning, on the other hand, was just as bad as any other day, but I'm working over at the nursery once again, and with a bit of luck, hopefully, I'll run into vivian.

I can't figure out what it is about that woman, but something about her is really calling out to me.

I know it's wrong to love a woman, but I can't help but wonder if these are the feelings that I have for her.

Nothing can happen between us, though, because if Roger finds out, I know for a fact that he will litterally kill me. I'm not ready to face that just yet plus I don't ever know if she likes me that way so how am I supposed to know if I like her, I've never felt this way about anyone really especially not a woman.

I jump into the shower and get into some clothes and cover up my bruises so that I can leave to go to the knight nursery.

I don't bother with breakfast or coffee because I simply don't want to be in the house with Roger for any longer. I can't deal with it. The pain he puts me through is unbearable.

I get into my car, and before setting off,  I decide that I want to put some music on. It's only a 10 minute drive from Roger's to the nursery, but I feel like a bit of background music could be a nice change.

I put in my Girls aloud cd, and the first thing that comes on is biology. This has always been my favorite girls aloud song since I was a child. I have no idea why, but there's something about it.

I nod my head along to the music and scream the lyrics out.

The 10 minutes fly by, and I pull into the knight nursery. I walk into the reception and I am greeted by autumn.

This is going to be fun. Me and Autumn don't get along very well, I'm not surprised, to be honest she just sees me as a gold digger who is using her dad for money...

It's not like that at all, though. I just wish that someone would realize what I'm actually going through.

I need to tell Autumn that we need to get more children through the door, but she isn't going to be happy about it at all.

Roger always sets me up to explain these things because he doesn't want to be seen as a "bad person," although deep down, he knows that's exactly what he is.

Just as I expected, Autumn is not happy at all. "You are simply signing up too many children."

I hate arguing, but I have no choice. "We have a 6 month wait list were simply trying to get children through the door as quickly as possible."

She gives me a stern look and says, "You mean get more money through the door as quickly as possible."

I am not a gold digger. I hate the fact that's the only thing that people will only ever see me as.

I argue back again and tell her that "with more money through coming through the door, we can reinvest It into the nursery and get you some of the resources you say you desperately need."

She gets cocky with me again "or rather then getting money by singing up children that we simply do not have the capacity for you could utilize some of the funds you have used to just splurge on a brand new car."

The audacity this girl has. She also drives a very nice car, but she claims that she uses money from outside of the nursery to buy the car. Of course she did.

"You can see how it looks when you're telling us we can not have recourses, yet you drive in in a brand new car."

I'm so beyond done with this conversation, but I don't want her to hate me even more than what she already does, so I continue it on.

"Autumn, I do not care about optics. If you have a problem with this, take it up with Roger. He is the one calling the shots."

She looks down at the floor and just says, "Fine."

I don't want to deal with Roger anymore so I'm glad that she agrees that she will deal with him rather then me having to break the news, he would actually throttle me if I told him anything from the conversation me and His daughter just had.

He throttles me anyways but this time, it would just be horrendous.

I go to walk away from her, but she stops me and tries to start a new conversation.

I don't want to carry on talking to her, I just want to get on with the day and hopefully see vivian again later on.

I stop to listen to what she has to say anyway even though I really do not want to.

"I would say send my father my love. However, I hear you two are rather lacking in that department these days, but feel free to send him my indifference instead."

What the fuck just happened. How does she know? Roger can not find out that she knows about this who ok earth has told her?

Before I could ask her another question, she had already walked away.

I do the same and head outside to get some fresh air. I can't deal with this anymore. I need space from everything and everyone.