Disenchantment Sagas

The Buddy Contract

"OUCH!" Koga yelped. He placed the tip of his finger in his mouth and sucked on the blood that was oozing from his pricked finger. "Goddamn it, how the hell do you do this?" He held up the needle with a thread through the hole.

Our superhuman swordsman was sitting on the edge of his bed, trying to repair his damaged tunic. A slash in the center of it was given to him by a bandit on the knight's last crusade. Not wanting to disturb Bunty, Koga attempted to close the slash by knitting it. As we can all see, Koga was not doing too well. The stitches around the hole were a mess. It was going in all sorts of directions and crossing over each other. To top it all off, Koga was beginning to grow impatient every time the needle pricked his finger. He decides to try again, and—"SON OF A—"Koga growls and tosses his tunic in frustration.

  Miri was walking by with her mop and bucket, saw the tunic on the ground, and picked it up. "Do you want me to take this to bunty?" She picks up the clothing and examines the torn hole.

"No, don't bother her. She already has enough work to do around here. I don't need her working on some stupid overshirt," said Koga, laying back on his bed and pouting at the ceiling.

"I don't think she would mind at all," Miri sat her mop aside and stepped into Koga's room. "It's just a hole with—" She stared at Koga's stitching. "Oh wow, yeah, you messed this up pretty bad."

"Stupid needles..." Koga mumbles.

"Well, if you don't want to bother bunty, you could ask Tavish to do it," said Miri.

"Tavish knows about stitching?" said Koga, surprised.

"And knitting too,"

"Huh...I didn't know that at all. I guess there's more to the prince than I thought," Koga rises from his bed and takes the torn tunic from Miri. "I'll go ahead and see what the clone can do."

"Oh, here you guys are!" said Elfo, walking into Koga's room. "Bean, Luci, and I want to show you something!"

   Koga and Miri looked at each other and followed Elfo to Bean's room. When the three entered, Bean and Luci were sitting on the bed. Luci held a piece of paper in his hand, grinning from ear to ear.

"What's this all about?" Koga asked.

  Bean takes the paper from Luci's hand, gets up from the bed, and clears her throat. "I, Princes Tiabeanie Mariabeanie De Le Rochambeau Grunkiwitz, offer Koga and Miri a friendship contract!" She hands the paper to Koga.

"A friendship contract?" Miri said, confused.

Koga takes the paper. "Why in the world did you make a contract?"

"It's for dire situations!" Elfo replied.

"And other things..." Luci chuckled.

  Koga looked at them suspiciously. He began reading the piece of paper. "If there is ever a time that we are in a no-win situation, we must all die together?" He looks up from the paper and sees Bean nodding.

"Yup!" The Princess smiled at him.

Koga continues reading. "If ever I am sad, my personal knight must fetch me a barrel of beer. I do that for you anyway, on top of carrying your ass back and forth to the bar! And I'm not a knight!"

"You keep saying that, yet you work for my dad!" Bean crossed her arms and slit her eyes at Koga. "So what makes you not a knight?"

"I don't wear that stupid armor, that's how,"

"Oh yeah, sure, that makes you not a knight of dreamland,"

"Technically, he never got knighted, so he's not wrong," said Miri.

"My dad hasn't knighted anyone...I think," said Bean. "I don't know, I don't pay attention to that stuff."

"Why the hell do I have to get you a barrel of beer? Can we go back to that?" said Koga.

"Well, I've never had a beer by delivery before," said Bean. "And I wouldn't have to leave my room."

"And what the hell is, 'I would have to offer my soul to Luci to borrow just in case?' Why would I let someone borrow my soul?!"

"For charity," said Luci.

"What charity needs a soul?" Koga bats his eyes onto Luci.

"The ones who host charities? DUH!" Luci rolls his eyes.

Koga continues reading the contract. He looked unamused as he turned to Elfo. Elfo just smiled and blinked a few times. Koga would read out loud. "I must grant piggyback rides to the elf when asked?"

Elfo nods. "It makes me feel tall,"

"What kind of contract is this? It's just a bunch of demands!" said Koga, tossing the contract back to Bean.

"Why am I here again?" Miri asked.

"Well, we're friends and hang out often," said Bean.

"Umm...we don't hang out. You happen to be there when I hang out with Koga and Elfo. Do you even know my name?"

"Of course I do! It's...uhh...well...something that starts with an e?"

"Yeah...that's what I thought..." said Miri, giving Bean a stern look.

"Alrighty, big man, just sign here with your blood, and we can all go about our day," said Luci, placing the contract back in his hands.

"Yeah, I'll pass," said Koga, throwing the paper on Luci's face and getting to his feet.

"But Koga, it's a friendship contract!" Elfo whined.

"Sounds slave contract to me," said Koga, heading for the door.

"Whaaaaat? No way, what makes you think that?" Luci asked.

"I'm going to go get my pancho fixed," Koga shook his head and walked out the door. "Those three, I swear..."

Bean, Elfo, and Luci looked over at Miri.

"I'm not signing that crap," The long-haired burnet gets to her feet and walks out of the room.

Bean looks at the contract. "You know...we really made this thing all about us and not about what Koga or Miri wants," She frowned, lowering the contract.

"It doesn't help Luci put in that stupid soul rule," Elfo griped.

"It was reasonable. I don't know what you're talking about 'I want piggybacks! Look at me! I'm Elfo meh, meh meh!' Ugh," Luci mocked.

"Hey! I don't go meh meh meh! Stop that!" Elfo glared.

"Make me!" Luci glared back.

In an instant, the two began grappling on the ground before Bean. Bean sighed and rubbed her head.

"Yeah...I see why Koga gets annoyed by us sometimes..."