Disenchantment Sagas

The Dragon Philosopher

    The knights of Dreamland fished Akane and her crew out of the water and quickly cuffed them. Pendergast, Turbish, and Mertz escorted them to the castle and led them into the dungeons. As they walked, Akane heard the sounds of chains rattling in one of the cells and turned her head to see a whithered, old-looking man with no eyes laughing uncontrollably. "Oooh? New prisoners! Do they acquire the need for touch? Don't be shy! I don't bite! Hahahahah!" Akane looked at the man in disgust and shivered. Akane and her crew are placed in individual cells and await to be confronted by the king. Once Pendergast informed Odval about Akane's capture, he hurried to King Zog and attempted to wake him. Odval shook Zog gently at first,

"Your Highness, the Kingdom was under attack. We captured the invaders!" said Odval, loudly.

Zog just continued to snore.

"Your Highness!" Odval shouted louder and shook him harder. Zog would snore louder.

"Step aside," said Oona.

Odval stepped aside, and Oona stood before Zog. She raises her hand and slaps in the face, immediately waking Zog. "WHAT THE? WHO'S THERE? WHAT HAPPENED?" He looked around the room frantically. "Why does my face hurt?"

"It's all in the swing," Oona told Odval.

"I'll remember that when I have nothing to live for," Odval replied.

"Aw man, I was sleeping so good," Zog frowned. His face then bore a look of anger. "The Kingdom better have been invaded."

"It was," said Odval. "We captured the invaders. They are a part of the dark legion."

Zog gasped loudly. "Holy smokes! The Dark Legion?!"

"Yes, sire,"

"What the hell is the Dark Legion?"

Odval sighed. "I'll explain on the way to the dungeon."

  Zog put on his royal attire and headed straight for the dungeons. He walked over to the cell holding Akane, and there she sat, chained to the wall and keeping her poker face strong. "Open it up!" he barked at the guards. The guards grabbed the keys from the waist and unlocked the cell door, and Zog stormed in. Zog towered over Akane and glared down at the Lieutenant.

"So...this little girl is the one who tried to attack my kingdom?" Zog snarled. "And got punched out, my daughter? HA! Ain't so tough now, are you?"

"Kutabare, futotta buta!" Fuck you, fat pig) Akane spat.

Zog looked confused. "Say wha?"

"Kimi no Iki ga kuso kusai!" (Your breath stinks!) 

"What the hell is this? That isn't English!" Zog looked over at Odval.

"It seems to be her native language, sire," said Odval. "Although she can speak English from what I know."

Zog turned back to Akane and crossed his arms. "Ooooh, you wanna play dumb, eh? Well, we have ways of dealing with people who play dumb! STAAAAAN!"

"Yes, sire!" said the tall, round-belly man named Stan, the executioner, wearing his black executioner mask.

"Get ready to do your thing! And make sure it's slow and steady!" said Zog.

"Will do, sire!" said Stan, happily. He walks over to a bookshelf and grabs a book off of it. The executioner walks into the cell and sits down next to Akane. "So which one would you like? The knee splitter? Rats? Oh! This one is a personal favorite to many! The best dad jokes of the 13th century!"

 Akane just let out an annoyed sigh.

    After Zog leaves the dungeons, he heads to the astronomy tower with Odval. Zog burst open the doors, causing Sorcerio to jolt and fall off the ladder and into his pile of books.