The World's Ego (Book 2)

Never Again

Feiyun POV

I wonder when it started... I envy the Herrscher of Sentience, to be able to remain the same way as she is, carefree and careless. It's weird because we used to be the same being. But when I lost everything once, I started changing at some point. I was no longer bound to Finality but at the same time, it still felt empty. When I finally remembered Hua and what she did, I was annoyed to no end, at her and at myself. I am strong, and yet, I lost that day. I lost everything when I shouldn't have needed to.

What a joke... The Herrscher of Sentience getting her memories erased.

Then I was picked up by that girl, Her Majesty Rimuru Tempest. She knew a lot about me but I didn't and only searched for a person from a fading memory. It's a wonder why I'm still haunted by the memories of that day. Was it because I lost to Velgrynd? No, it's because I couldn't do anything, that feeling of uselessness and the void that couldn't be replaced when I couldn't remember anything. I know Rimuru tried everything she could to appease my mood so I simply listened, like all her other obedient subordinates. I even received a 'name' but sometimes I wondered if I ever did get the 'freedom' I wanted.

After all, the freedom I was given was through servitude but even then, she didn't interfere. She trusted me wholeheartedly and left me with the security of the town. Honestly, she trusts people too easily.

But even I knew that it was a natural trait of hers and stayed in Tempest regardless, doing whatever I wanted but never crossing the line. Then, news regarding the Empire arrived, and I knew that it was my chance to get back at them for everything they did.

... Even that turned out to be a sick joke. The Emperor they followed for so long was already gone for years and no one could tell that they were being dominated by Michael and Feldway for their ambitions.

There was no way anyone could pin that much responsibility and blame on those involved but either way, most of the Empire's soldiers lost their lives due to greed. Then I reunited with Hua. I thought I had a lot to blame her for since she erased my memories but when we met again, it all blanked in my head. The things that happened after the reunion were, to me, the worst. Sure, it felt nice to be worshipped and all but in the Cardinal World, it is so much worse. I didn't want to count how many times I've seen people showing up at my doorstep.

Also, that Old Timer... She keeps watching me like a hawk! I'm not even a kid.

I found myself looking at the blade's reflection of my sword, looking at the pupils that changed into the shape of diamonds.

...

Rimuru chuckled after I complained to her about the troubles with Old Timer, seemingly entertained, "Lighten up, Feiyun. Hua's still getting used to her emotions again."

"I'm saying that it's taking too long!"

"It's only been a few months since your reunion." She countered, "And our Hua here never experienced the losses 'Fu Hua' went through firsthand, she simply saw them and acted on her emotions. Would you rather she remain a stoic soldier? And isn't she more fun to be with right now?"

I crossed my arms, "They are two different people..."

"But they were once the same person. The times changed Fu Hua to the person she is now, Feiyun. You know that." She pointed at me, "What you should do now is allow yourself to create new memories here with Hua. Separate them, they are not the same person anymore."

"... But..."

"Do you think it doesn't feel right?" Rimuru hummed quietly before reaching out to the basket of fruits on the coffee table, "Maybe. You were a Herrscher born from Fu Hua's body and memories after all. But you know what? Maybe your memory erasure was fate. You get to properly start your life from zero and experience the things you couldn't."