Cody learns to love

The one chapter where Cody accidentally talks to a mind healer

  Cody decided he got why Fox hated mind healers. They were fucking scary, asking about seemingly nothing and still making a picture out of it. Noticing every single quirk. It was terrifying.

  Emerie's mind healer asked him to be present for the appointment, said that they were going to make it a bonding session. He didn't feel any closer to Emerie but he supposed that it probably made the girl feel more secure. He could see the point of some activities, like the game where they were supposed to take rounds in adding blocks to a tower until it fell. It was all about showing Emerie that Cody wasn't going to get angry with her if she fucks up. The meaning of some of the other activities remained a mystery to Cody.

  That wasn't the problem, though. Cody believed that the mind healer knew what she was doing. The problem was how in the end of the session, she sent Emerie to wait outside of her office so she could ask Cody some questions. And those questions were okay, really, just some innocent questions about how is Cody doing, if he thinks Emerie is getting used to her new life well and stuff. It would be okay, really. Only the mind healer knew. She knew everything. Every so often, she would look at Cody's arms, then look back at Cody and quickly mask a sad expression. There was no way for her to know. And yet, Cody couldn't shake the feeling that the mind healer knows everything about his unhealthy coping mechanism.

  Emerie didn't know about any of that. In fact, she enjoyed the appointment. She kept talking about it for most of their way home, only changing the topic when they stopped at the mall to buy some groceries. She convinced Cody to buy her a flower. She promised to water it but Cody didn't believe promises like that anymore. At least it made Emerie happy for the moment.

  It was easy to forget about the mind healer in the chaos that was coming home. He had things to do. He had to talk to Bly, feed the babies, prepare something to eat for Emerie and the kids who wanted second dinner, get the kids ready for bed, make sure Wolffe and Fox ate something after they came back home, read bedtime stories, change Boba's diaper...

  And then everything was done. And Cody had time to think. To go back to his conversation with the mind healer.

***

  "Now I would like to ask you about the situation, Cody. Is everything going alright?"

  "Yeah." Cody nodded. Just what did the mind healer want him to say?

  "Do you think Emerie is adjusting?"

  "Yeah, I think she is getting used to living with us."

  "What about the other children? Are they getting used to having a sister?"

  "Yes. I think they like her."

  "Emerie talks about Fox a lot," the mind healer said. "He is very important to her but from what she told me, Fox isn't really interested in talking to Emerie. I wanted to know your opinion before I talk about it with her."

  "Fox is... He doesn't have anything against Emerie, if that's what you are asking."

  "From what Emerie said, he's pushing her away. She doesn't really recognize the signs but she will learn to read them. I just need to know what the problem is, why doesn't Fox want to talk to Emerie.

  "Fox is autistic. He needs time to adjust to changes and having a sister is a huge change," Cody explained. "Fox also has very specific boundaries that need to be respected but he can't talk about it with Emerie."

  "I see. So neither of them is the problem, it's just that they can't communicate."

  "I think so, yes. I tried to talk to Emerie about boundaries but she can't read people well and doesn't know when she is overstepping."

  "I will talk to her about it," the mind healer promised. "Now about you, Cody. Are you okay?"

  Why did she even care? She was Emerie's mind healer, not Cody's. Cody also wasn't stupid enough to tell her anything about his problems. She could use it to take Emerie or even the other kids away from him. No matter how nice the mind healer looked, Cody wasn't going to risk her assuming that he was unfit for fostering children. He subconsciously glanced at his arms. There was no way the mind healer saw anything. "I'm fine."

  The mind healer followed Cody's gaze to his arms. "Really?"

  "Yeah."

  "It's alright not to be okay," the mind healer assured him.

  Cody absentmindedly pulled the sleeves of his leather jacket over his hands. That's when he noticed the mind healer looking at his arms again. "I'm fine, really."

  "How old are you, Cody?"

  "Twenty eight."

  "How many children are you raising?" 

  "Ten."

  "And how many have you already raised?"

  "Two."

  "Raising children is an ungrateful job, Cody. You are strong for doing this, brave for ever agreeing to take in your siblings. It's not a shame to ask for help if you need it."

  "It's not that bad," Cody lied. He had an awful feeling that the mind healer could see his very soul. He suddenly understood why Fox hated mind healers. They were nice. But the way they could read people was terrifying.

  "We both know that's a lie, Cody." The mind healer once again guessed right. "I know that the children require a lot of time but you need to make time for yourself. You can't help them if you don't help yourself."

  She sounded an awful lot like Obi-Wan. They didn't know what Cody could do. He could hold all the emotions inside until the kids grew up. After that, he could break down, he could drown in pain or jump off a cliff for all someone cared. For now, he needed to be there for his children.

  "You are doing a good job raising children, Cody. Just make sure not to forget about yourself. Here, if you ever needed help." The mind healer handed him a paper. After a short inspection, Cody found out it was a phone number. How did the mind healer know he wasn't going to randomly call her at three in the morning to cry about his disaster of a life?

  "Thanks."

  "You are welcome."

***

  Cody found the paper the mind healer gave him in the pocket of his jeans. He looked at it in the dim light the lamp on his nightstand provided. Why did he even keep it? He wasn't planning on calling the mind healer. Cody couldn't have problems. Not if he wanted to be allowed to keep the children. And he wasn't letting them go.

  So I haven't asked for your opinion in a while. How do you like the fic? Do you think I'm going in the right direction or did I fuck up somewhere? Where? How? Who is your favorite character so far? Is there someone you would like to see in this fic? Who? Talk to me, guys, I need your honest opinion to get better.