Cody learns to love

The one chapter where Fox says something hurtful (and regrets it)

  Going through all the stuff in the basement and the garage took a lot of time, even if Bly, Rex and even Wolffe and Fox helped. The kids didn't like it. It wasn't that they didn't like spending time with Obi-Wan or the other available babysitters, they just wanted it to be Cody who played with them, took them to the park and listened to their endless rants about their current interests.

  "Cody? Do we want to keep Bly's notebooks from third grade?" Fox asked as he opened another box. Old notebooks were one of the things they were throwing out. Cody always used to think that it could come in handy when teaching the younger kids but the notebooks were mostly useless. He kept sketchbooks and essays, those were pieces of art, but they were throwing out most of the other stuff. The only exception were some of Fox's notebooks because he was pretty much the first Fett with an actually legible handwriting and his notes were so neat it was actually possible to learn something from them.

  "Just look if there are any pictures or essays and you can throw the rest out."

  "Okay."

  Cody could tell Fox hated sitting on the basement floor and going through old dusty stuff but he was also the most effective of them all. Somehow, he could just go through the stuff without getting stuck staring at the things he found for half an hour.

  "You don't have to do this, Fox."

  "I'm still hoping to find Wolffe's baby pictures."

  "I already told you we don't have any Wolffe's baby pictures. I only started taking pictures after you were born. You were too cute not to take pictures."

  "You always say that I looked almost like Wolffe when he was younger."

  "But you never acted like Wolffe when he was younger. You were a very well behaved little baby. The only one who could sleep for more than three hours at once. You never cried much. Not that I wouldn't love you if you did but it made parenting much easier."

  "Autistic babies are often quieter than normal kids," Fox said. Somehow, he made it sound more like an accusation than a simple information. It made Cody feel guilty without even knowing what he did wrong.

  "Really? I didn't even know that."

  "Maybe you should've done some research."

  "I know I should've. I'm sorry, Fox. I did what I thought was the best at the time."

  "Well, maybe that wasn't enough." Fox dropped the box he was unpacking before he stormed out of the garage.

  "Fox!" Cody shouted after him but Fox pretended he didn't hear it. "I'm sorry, Fox! I'm sorry! Just come back! Please, Fox!"

  Fox didn't turn around. And he was right, Cody fucked up. He should've cared more, he should've done more research, he should've taken Fox to a mind healer. He was a bad ori'vod, wasn't he?

  Fox was the worst vod'ika. Like ever. He knew it the second he said those words. But instead of apologizing and begging Cody for forgiveness - not that it was actually necessary, Cody always forgave him easily, too easily -, he just left. He needed to leave, before he said something even worse. Fox didn't think there were many worse things he could say but he has thought that multiple times and was always proven wrong.

  It took everything in Fox not to turn around when Cody called after him. He could hear the hurt in Cody's voice. Cody was hurt because of Fox. Fox couldn't just run up to him and ask for a hug. Not after the terrible thing he said.

  Fox ignored the kids around him in favor of getting to his room as fast as possible. He couldn't be around them. They were too loud. They had too many questions. They deserved a better ori'vod than Fox. Fox couldn't talk to them right now. Or maybe not ever again. They would be better off. Fox was broken. Cody was just wasting time with him.