English Love Affair// Calum T. Hood

"Look out at the moon and it will remind me of you."

Since Alex from all time low is in my story please listen to the song attached, its satellite.

Thank you xo

Jess PoV:
As soon as I got back in the house Alex was stood waiting for me.Smug and annoyed look plastered over his face.

"WHAT were you thinking?"he sighed glancing at me.
"It's my choice who I date Alex and anyway you said you like Cal"

"You shouldn't have forgive him so easily"
"It's hard to live with out him and I don't care how it sounds but I don't know how much longer I would have lasted."

"But Jess we go away in three weeks, what's going to happen then."

"I don't know"

He looked at me for a moment with sad eyes.
"Fuck were going away in three weeks, I'm going to miss you I'm sorry I yelled like that."
"I love you thank you for letting Calum still come on tour with you"

"I wouldn't have it with any other band"he smiled as he pulled me into a hug.

"Did Calum ask you?"
"Ask me what?"
"To be his girlfriend, he asked me if it was okay and I told him that I wasn't sure."
"Yes he did and I told him yes.Why weren't you sure?"
"I didn't want my baby cousin to get hurt again.......do you love him?"

"Of corse I do"
"Then enjoy your time with him, I'll leave you get ready because you probably want to go see him."

"Yep I do we've got a month to catch up on and thank you"
"It's a good job you two live next door or you would have used so much money for a car.Which you couldn't drive properly anyway!"

"wouldn't you drive me?"
"I wouldn't drive you to his house just so you can cuddle and kiss him and god knows what ever else you get up too."

"ALEX I've just got back with him, that poor boy has to see you everyday for three months.Don't torture him too much."

"He loves me deep down does Hood, and so do you"he laughed hugging me again before I went upstairs.

When I got to my room I was greeted by Calum.
"Shit....Calum you scared me"
"Sorry I thought you wouldn't mind me using the window again."
"I don't but I could have been given some warning."

"What wrong?"Alex said walking into the room.
"He just scared me, it's okay"i giggled.
"Well I'm going to Zoe's so I'll see you later"Alex told me before leaving.

I walked to my bed and snuggled into the covers getting comfy.
"You can't just sleep when I've come to see you"
Calum sighed and laid beside me hugging me.

"Mmmmmmm"

"What's up?You haven't been talking much."
"I don't want to start college."
"Why not?I'll be there for your first day?"
"I know but Wills sister goes there I haven't spoke to her.Calum she hates me."

"I'll look after you"
"I know you will but what about when you go away.I'll have to face her on my own and she's a bitch Calum."

"I'm sure you'll make friends everyone will love you, but not as much as me"he leaned towards me and kissed me.

"I'm gonna miss you tones"i sighed walking towards the window for some air.

"Three month huh"
"We can't even last one"
"Well we will be talking still so that's okay I guess"

"I need som air"I told him climbing out of the window and using the tree to get onto the roof.Calum new what I was doing so he followed closely behind making sure I didn't fall.

"What up?You only come up here when something's bothering you."he asked me once we sat down and I could see the worry evident in his eyes.

I feel utterly sick to the stomach because I don't want him to leave.God knows how that's possible but trust me, it is.

My hole life will be leaving in a matter of days, 20 to be exact so what's the point.Whats the point in me actually being here in this world when I won't have a life?
Exactly ,there isn't one!

I can't tell him that, we both know that Calum isn't strong enough to hear that after what I told him yesterday.My mind isn't even strong enough to think that at the moment.Its all bottled up inside, still.

So I took a deep breath and told him what we both want to hear, not what I need to say.
"I'm just scared about when you all leave."

"I know baby, but let's just forget about that and enjoy the stars together."He put his arm around me and cuddled me to his chest.

Me still having to pretend like everything was as it should be. That I didn't feel sick,angry,sad, depressed and numb all in one go.He never seemed to notice how bad I really was.Calum couldn't find a way to get me out of this way of thinking.

Fuck if Calum can't help me, no one can.

"Hey there's a shooting star"Calum said randomly pointing at the sky with a grin on his face.

"It's probably just a satellite"i sighed truthfully glancing at the sky.

"Don't be so glum"he said pulling me carful up to sit on his lap.
"Sorry you can leave if you want if I'm making you sad."i said letting go of his hand.

"Do you want me to leave?"he asked a little shocked.
"No I'm sorry if that's how it sounded, it's just I don't want to make you feel low."

"Jess I want to look after you in not letting my girlfriend lie in her bed all day depressed and lonely.At Least I can stop you from being lonely."

"You help with the depression too, I like being called your girlfriend again."

"I like having you as my girlfriend you beautiful girl."he kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear,"you need to make a wish we saw a shooting star."

"Mmmmmmm"i simply answered and looked up at him instead of the sky.

He noticed after a while and looked down smiling,
"I remember when we first came up on the roof top."i identified to him.

"Me two, when we were 15"
"You were hiding from everyone at a party because your scars were there."he sighed.

"Yeh and you're the only one that could be bothered to come find me because you thought I was gonna jump of the roof."

"Yeh cause I care and let's not talk about that and just admire the sky.

Its so fucking perfect tonight and remember that when I'm away we'll both be underneath the same sky.We can look at the moon at the same time and I can just think of you."

"That's true so now every time I come out here and look out at the moon it will remind me of you."

"I hope so.Aren't you getting cold Jess?"
"Mmmmmm"i simply answered again my eyes glued to the moon.

"Jessica"Calum then said kissing my cheek to get my attention.
"Yeh?"
"I said ,are you cold?"
"A little"
"Well let's go inside then we wouldn't want to be sick for college."

"Hmm yeh I would"i sighed leaning into his shoulder.
"Well I'm not gonna let you"he said shuffling into the balcony with me in his arms.

I yawned loudly once we got inside and Calum laid me on the bed tucking me in the covers.
"Do you want me to stay?"he asked picking up his jacket.

"It's up too you"i sighed and closed my eyes.
"I'm staying I can't leave you alone when your sad"

"Thank you"i smiled rolling over to see him as he climbed into my bed.
"Calum"
"Yeh"
"Why do you love me?"
"You should be the one asking me that."
"I'm serious Calum"
"Do you want me to tell you everything?"
"Yep"
"But it'll take a long time"
"I don't mind, you can talk me to sleep."

"Okay then"
"You only have to do ten"
"One, your voice.
Two, your giggle.
Three, your smile.
Four, your eyes.
Five, the way you stick your tongue out when your thinking.
Six, your dimples when you smile.
Seven, your curly hair."

"Calum"i cut him off smiling.
"Shut up"
"Why?"
"Because you tell me these things all the time and I never believe you."

"But they're true"
"They might be but I already love you more than I think is possible."i laughed kissing his cheek.

"We should get some sleep college tomorrow."he said pulling me into a hug.
"Night Cal pal"i sighed cuddling into him.